


Blue Roses

by CynziDragonPazza



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Cameo Crossovers, F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, It's honestly a grab bag of romances, M/M, Nightmares, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Dave Strider, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Primary fandom is homestuck so I'm sticking with that, Trans Character, Trans Karkat Vantas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2018-07-27 03:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7601146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynziDragonPazza/pseuds/CynziDragonPazza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meaning: the impossible, or the unattainable. Since the blue rose itself is a rarity in nature, it stands for something that is hardly within one's grasp, an object that seems too difficult to be achieved.</p><p> </p><p>Karkat's favorite thing about flowers was the fact that they're a language all of their own.</p><p>Dave's favorite thing about flowers was getting to meet Karkat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sycamore, Southernwood, Lemon-Scented Geranium, Gloxinia

Bucket o’ Bouquets was a growing business, that was certain. The main building was decent size, but the majority of the lot it was on was taken up by the greenhouses in the back. That was Jade’s domain, and Karkat knew better than to invade her territory. Besides, his domain was the front, and contrary to popular belief he was actually very good at dealing with customers, thank you very much. There was, after all, a big difference between not taking shit and just being a completely rude fucker.

Besides, Karkat was grateful for the job. He had been out of state finishing up his degree in screenwriting with an art minor, but once he was done he had to come back home, which he was honestly fine with. He missed his family.

As of now he was quite happy working in floral arrangements, especially since Jade made sure he was paid well. The tip bucket was a nice touch as well, and they split up the contents each day. His current project was a wedding bouquet for a nervous bride. In order to reduce that worry, he made sure to add a few sprigs of lavender for soothing scent. He didn't mind doing weddings, but they sure could be boring flower-wise.

The bell over the door rang, and Karkat looked up to see a blond man storm in, and even with the aviators he could tell the other was pissed. The man came right to the counter and slapped a twenty down. “What can you make that passive aggressively says fuck you?”

Okay,  _ that  _ was a new request. Karkat blinked a couple of times before grinning, running a hand through thick brown-black hair. “I can help you with that.” He pulled out his notebook and clicked a pen. “Okay, so what you're going to want is scarlet geraniums for stupidity, foxglove for insincerity, Carolina syringa for disappointment, meadowsweet for uselessness, and orange lilies for hatred. Mind telling me who you're so pissed off at?”

The blond huffed. “I was visiting my bro for a week and I come home to find my entire bedroom absolutely covered in pictures of Nic Cage. As if that wasn't bad enough he gift wrapped everything in it! It's taking me all day to even get to my turntables!”

Karkat burst out laughing, shaking his head. “That sounds like something a friend of mine would do. He's obsessed with those movies. Thank god he's not a fan of Con Air anymore, there's only so many times you can rewatch it without wanting to choke him.”

The man’s eyebrows shot up. “John Egbert?”

Karkat’s rose as well. “Yeah. Small world, huh?”

“Tell me about it. The name’s Strider, Dave Strider.” The newly named Dave held out his hand with a smirk.

Karkat rolled his eyes but accepted the shake. “Karkat Vantas. If you give me your number I can call you when the bouquet’s ready.”

“Whoa, whoa, you're just demanding my number? That's not cool man, you gotta lead with flirting first before asking my number,” Dave teased. He ignored the startled squawk as he pulled a card out of his pocket, jotting something down on the back quickly. “That's my number and the club I work at, you should come check it out.”

Karkat accepted it and looked at it with a curiously raised eyebrow. “Timaeus Turned?”

“Bro owns it, he's just out of town long term for now.” Dave shrugged with a grin and took the twenty bucks back. “I'll be waiting for your call~” He gave a little wave as he sauntered out.

Karkat rolled his eyes and shook his head at how ridiculous the guy was, before looking at the business card again. It was black with red and orange lettering, and when he flipped it around he saw that the other had written what was apparently a pesterchum handle in red gel, with the words “hit me up” on it.

Thank god for his tan skin or else he'd be blushing like an idiot.

* * *

 

Around the corner Dave was leaning against the wall, hand to his rapidly beating heart and cheeks bright red. Fuck, that had been hard to stay so cool! Jade was right, the guy was absolutely adorable! And he kinda liked that Karkat was a couple of inches taller, and wow was he tan, like liquid caramel had just been poured into a human mold and it created a cute hunk, and those eyes were really expressive and were like an amber color, he had never seen eyes that shade before, he could get lost in them if he wasn't careful. Leave it to Egbert to give him the perfect reason to go into the store.

Dave suddenly groaned and hit his head on the wall lightly. How was he supposed to keep his cool around Karkat now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone~! I hope you're all enjoying this new work of mine! For those of you who are wondering, I'm using these two websites for flower language: http://www.languageofflowers.com/flowermeaning.htm#anchortophome and http://thelanguageofflowers.com/. For the bouquet that John is receiving, I used this for reference http://puppykakarot.tumblr.com/post/145915319207/flower-shop-au.
> 
> Each chapter title has different flowers in reference to the contents, so you guys can have fun figuring out what each of them mean! Good luck~!


	2. Forsythia, Blue Periwinkle, White Heather

Karkat flipped the card back and forth between his fingers, still puzzling over what to do. Jade had been a bit put out when she heard that Dave had come by (apparently she was friends with him), but was very excited when he told her about the flirting.

_“He’s really a great guy,” she said, setting out a few newly painted buckets for an order to be filled. “Trust me, he tries to come across as suave and all kinds of cool, but he’s suuuuch a dork! I’ve known him since middle school, so believe you me when I say that he isn’t nearly as smooth as he tries to be.”_

_Karkat tilted his head curiously. “Did you two date or something?”_

_Jade laughed a little. “Yeah, for a year in high school. It didn’t work out, but we’re still best friends! We agreed to be each other’s wing person. I might have told him about this really cute new guy working in my shop who just moved back after being away for four years~” She laughed at the blush crossing his cheeks._

Damn meddling crazy girl. Karkat did think it was sweet though that she apparently thought he was a good choice for her best friend. It was always important to get a bestie’s approval, after all. He thought of Nepeta and Equius and snickered to himself. Those two were so overprotective of each other. Speaking of, wasn’t she supposed to be back home by now? He pulled his phone out and sent a quick text.

_HEY NEPETA, YOU COMING HOME YET?_

Karkat went back to poking at his lentil soup, still thinking about the card. Should he? Should he not? He couldn’t help but wonder, did Dave really want to get to know him, or was it just for a one night stand? There had been plenty of those for him, apparently in college he had been extremely desirable. It definitely had given him _quite_ a secondary education. Hell, if sex was a minor he’d have gotten a 4.0 GPA. Screw it, he’d wait for Nepeta to come back.

Speak of the cat, there went his phone. He picked up on the second ring. “Hey, where are you?”

“I’m stuck in traffic, Karkitty!” Nepeta whined, and Karkat could hear the sound of sirens which made him sit up straight. “There was a three-car pileup so until it can be taken care of I’m going to be stuck. As soon as I get to an exit though I’m taking it though. Can you keep supper warm for me?”

“Yeah, I made lentil soup.”

“Ooh yum! So until traffic passes, wanna talk about our days? I’m gonna be stuck here for a half hour at _least_ ,” she whined.

He chuckled a little bit. “I got to make my first fuck you bouquet today.”

“A what?”

“A bouquet of flowers meant as a fuck you to the recipient.”

“Nice! Who ordered it?”

“A guy named Dave Strider, apparently Jade’s best friends with him. He needed the bouquet for Egbert.”

“Huh, Dave sounds familiar. And oh jeez, what did he do _now_?”

“Wallpaper his room with Nic Cage pictures and gift wrapped everything in the bedroom.” He grinned as Nepeta burst into giggles. “I know, typical John! So this Dave guy wanted a fuck you bouquet, which I explained to him of course.”

“Of course, Karkat, you are _such_ a floriographer.”

“Damn right I am, who else helped with our parents’ wedding?”

“I know, remember how much Mom gushed over it? She was so happy that you were so intent on helping her and Dad with the perfect romantic wedding! I’m surprised you didn’t go into wedding planning.”

“I sort of am, with working on floral arrangements for weddings,” he pointed out with a nibble on some pita bread. “Honestly, I know I was a little shithead with no patience in high school, but I kind of mellowed out a little. Now I only want to partially strangle the customers.”

“Oh my god, bad Karkitty! Bad!” Nepeta laughed, which made him grin. He did love making her laugh, she had the cutest one. That was probably familial bias though. “Sooo, what else about this Dave guy? Come on, there’s definitely more!”

“Well he flirted a bit and gave me his card for the club he works at. Timaeus Turned?”

“Oh! Yeah, Terezi wants to take me there next week, she started working as one of those like, you know those dancers that go in the crowd in order to keep the spirits up and the beat flowing in the crowd? That sort of thing! She’s getting to be good friends with the DJ--wait, that’s why the name is familiar! Terezi told me about him!”

“Oh really~? You getting any headway on that ship, Miss Nepeta~?” He laughed at her startled squeak and sputter of denial. “Come on, Nep, you can’t hide anything from me like I can’t hide anything from you. You totally got a crush on her.”

A frustrated groan echoed from the other end of the line. “Okay okay, maybe a small one! And I’m working on it! Just...give me time, okay? It’s kind of really hard to actually get her to realize my flirting isn’t the play flirting we did before and that I actually mean it!”

“Hmm, you know what you can do?”

“What?”

“ _Shalalala don’t be scared, you better be prepared, go on and kiss the girl~_ ”

“KARKAT OH MY GOD!”

“ _Shalalala don’t stop now, don’t try to hide it now, you wanna kiss the girl!_ ” He laughed hard enough to clutch his stomach at her shocked exclamations including a rebuff and how dare he use one of her favorite movies against him! “Okay, okay, I’ll stop!”

“Hmph! If you want me to go after Terezi so badly, then what about _you_ , mister? Sounds like you may have a little thing with Dave~”

Karkat suddenly felt his cheeks burn. “I dunno about that, but he did add his pesterchum handle on the back of his card with ‘hit me up’ on it. And Jade’s apparently trying to set me up with him, what’s up with that?”

“Well, you _have_ been out of the dating scene since you came home!” Nepeta pointed out. “I know you wanted to take some time to adjust and stuff but it’s been almost a year! Even if he doesn’t actually wanna date, if _Jade_ likes him then he’s gotta be a pretty good guy. So why not give it a chance?”

“Ehh...she _did_ say he was a complete dork and not nearly as cool as he pretended,” he confessed with a chuckle. “And...yeah, okay, he was cute. Blond, almost as tall as me, lanky as all hell with freckles and paler than Sollux.”

“Whoa, I didn’t think anyone could be paler than him! Eyes?”

“He was wearing aviators.”

“Oh boo!”

“I know! Lame, trying to be a cool kid even when buying a fuck you bouquet.”

“You could always give him a fuck me bouquet.”

“Not-- _Nepeta!_ ”

“Heeheeheehee!! Revenge is sweet Karkat~! Anyway, if he gave you his handle just shoot him a message! I bet he’d at least love to hear from you. I bet he’s sitting and staring at his phone or the computer all squirming in anticipation for you to send him a message!”

“Well...I’ll at least think a little more on it okay?”

“I guess that’s the best I can get. Oh, traffic’s finally moving! Save me some soup, love ya bro!”

“Love ya too, sis, drive carefully.” Karkat clicked his phone off and finished off his soup before putting the dishes in the dishwasher. Fuck doing them by hand, he did enough of that in his dorm back in college. They had a dishwasher and by god were they gonna use it!

Once that was done he settled in front of his laptop, the pesterchum icon hovering tauntingly in the taskbar. It took him another ten minutes to actually type in the handle and send a message.

\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] -

CG: HEY, THIS IS THE FLORIST FROM TODAY. YOU KNOW, THE ONE YOU ORDERED THE FUCK YOU BOUQUET FROM?  
CG: I GOTTA SAY THAT’S ONE OF THE BEST DAMN ORDERS I’VE EVER HAD, I NEED TO ADVERTISE THOSE.  
CG: THIS *IS* DAVE STRIDER RIGHT?

Dave was so not squealing into his penguin plush right now. He was just...cuddling it super close. To his face. Yeah that’s it. Penguins needed cuddles to grow big and strong after all.

He took a moment to compose himself in order to reply, even though he was vibrating in his chair he was so excited. If Rose saw him then he’d die of mortified embarrassment, but thankfully she wasn’t. Besides she’d totally try to overanalyze his pajamas. They were a gift from Jade of course he was gonna wear them, even with the doggy bone pattern all over them.

TG: sup  
TG: youve reached the residence of local cool kid dave strider leave a message at the sick beats  
CG: I HAVE IT ON GOOD DAMN AUTHORITY THAT YOU ARE NOT NEARLY AS FUCKING COOL OF A KID AS YOU WANT TO PORTRAY YOURSELF TO BE.  
TG: goddammit did jade spill the beans  
CG: MAYBE.  
TG: shit now i gotta pick them all up  
TG: got all these legumes just rolling all over the place and under chairs and tables  
TG: the cats trying to play with them and you gotta grab them before they actually eat them cuz thats bad and you dont want sick cats  
TG: only sick beats allowed in the strider household  
CG: OH MY GOD DO YOU EVER SHUT UP?  
TG: only if someone makes me  
TG: you offering  
CG: HELL NO.  
CG: I DON’T GIVE KISSES BEFORE AT LEAST A DINNER.  
TG: now thats an invitation if i ever heard one  
CG: IT WASN’T MEANT TO BE.  
TG: too late youre obligated now  
TG: ill pick you up tomorrow at 5 when im out of work  
TG: well my other work  
CG: PUTTING THE PICK UP ON PAUSE, YOU HAVE TWO JOBS?  
TG: hell yeah man i can only dj on weekends  
TG: the rest of the week im tattooing at porrims palace its just down the street from you  
CG: OH YEAH, THANKS FOR REMINDING ME I HAVE TO SCHEDULE A TOUCH UP WITH HER.  
TG: you got ink hell yeah  
TG: of what  
CG: THAT’S FOR ME TO KNOW, AND FOR YOU TO FIND OUT. (:B  
TG: ouch spurned  
TG: challenge accepted

Karkat laughed softly. This may turn out to be a great idea after all!


	3. Cobaea, Snowdrop, Pink Camellia

Dave was on cloud 9. No seriously, he wasn’t being metaphorical, his skateboard had Cloud 9 stenciled in pretty calligraphy courtesy of Rose. It was a deep red with the lettering in bright white, though he was almost positive that it was more lavender than white. Still one of his favorite Christmas gifts from her.

Though he was also pretty high on happy right now too. He had spent almost all night chatting with Karkat after that first response, only going to bed when he was literally yelled at to by the grumpy cutie. Of course, he hadn’t been able to get Karkat for dinner the next day--Roxy had gotten sick and he had to cover her shift as well. Luckily her appointments had just been touch ups and no hardcore tattooing. Each artist had their own style, and he would hate to mess up his cousin’s clients on her. But they did finally agree on Sunday morning brunch date. That was perfect since he worked Friday and Saturday nights at Timaeus Turned.

His thoughts wandered briefly to Dirk, who was in Houston handling some legal issues. Their older brother had kicked the bucket finally (shot? poisoned? who the hell knew) so Dirk was taking care of all that shit.

Good riddance, in Dave’s opinion.

He gave the sidewalk a few extra kicks to keep his speed up, coasting down to Terezi’s house. It was a big house painted bright teal, with an even bigger backyard. She said something about how the teal was a refreshingly tasty welcome every time she came home. He didn’t quite understand her synesthesia but hey, if it makes her happy.

Slowing down he kicked the board up into his arms and practically skipped up her walk. She never left the door locked--for one thing she had a very effective security system. Another reason was that she tended to forget it was locked and actually walk into the door.  
“Hey ‘Rezi! You here--ack!!” Dave immediately was drowned in a pile of barking fluffy furry love bugs, and he started laughing as Berrybreath the Australian shepherd started licking his face. “Yeah yeah I missed you guys too! Let me up--let me up!” He was shoved up by Honeytongue, the golden retriever, who snuggled into his side. “Aww thanks pup, who’s a good boy~ you’re a good boy! And you’re a good girl!” he cooed to Pucefoot. The bloodhound gave a little boof as her tail wagged.

“Cool kid! You’re here early!” Terezi came walking down the hallway, cane in one hand and harness handle for Lemonsnout in the other. The yellow Labrador was as always extremely sedate and calm, his tail giving a couple of wags in recognition of Dave. Terezi gave a sharp whistle and the dogs quickly backed off, except for the albino Akita that sat on Dave’s lap, the man letting out a grunt. “I’m gonna guess that Pyralspite’s on your lap again?”

“Yep.” Dave chuckled as he scratched behind the dog’s ears. “I gotta say, for seven years old he’s looking really great! Your family’s been doing amazing with all these dogs. I still remember when you first got Pumpkinsnuffle last year.” He nodded to the Belgian Malinois, who was now contentedly chewing on an antler. “She was so skittish of people, and now she can’t stop trying to kiss me to death.”

Terezi cackled and hooked her cane in the little sheath she had on her back for it in order to scratch Berrybreath’s ears. “They’re good pups~” she cooed. “Honestly, the only reason I’d ever move out would be if I had enough room for Lemonsnout and Pyralspite! Plus it’s really hard to find someplace that’s, ya know, handicapped accessible.” She wrinkled her nose in displeasure. “I’ve looked with Mom already.”

“Aw man, sorry about that,” Dave said with a frown. “That’s gotta suck, don’t you get any privacy?”

“Well, it’s a lot easier since Tula moved in with Tuna! At this rate I’m just waiting for their wedding invite,” she joked, collapsing into a pile of pointy limbs next to him and grinned. “But what’s brought you here so early? We still have a couple of hours before we gotta get ready for work.”

“Come oooon, can’t I say I missed my favorite girl?”

“No.”

“Ouch, you wound me,” he deadpanned, hand to his heart. She simply snickered and gestured for him to talk. “Okay you got me, I gotta gossip. Break out the nail polish and hair curlers, it's getting full blown sleepover in here.” Dave flipped his sunglasses up since Terezi always left the house comfortably dark. “I met a guy.”

“No! Details!”

“His name is Karkat and--”

“Oh my god, him? No way, he and I were in high school together!” She cackled gleefully. “Ohh man this is gonna be good, I can give you all the dirt on him! How'd you two meet?”

Dave grinned happily. “He's working at Jade’s shop Bucket o’ Bouquets with arrangements and stuff. John pranked me so I went in asking for a fuck you bouquet to give to him. Turns out Karkat knows him.”

“That doesn't surprise me. Vriska told me that she had ranted about him once during that pen pal exchange and John wanted to talk to him too because he sounded like a funny guy,” she said with an eyeroll behind her glasses. “John’s weird like that. But anyway, not talking about him, we’re talking about our favorite shouty!”

Dave tilted his head in confusion. “Shouty?”

“He used to have problems with keeping his voice down so it was a joke that he was permanently shouty.”

“Oh. Well anyway I flirted with him some and gave him my number to call when the bouquet was ready along with my pesterchum, and we've been talking every night since. And Sunday I'm taking him out for brunch~” he added proudly.

Terezi politely clapped. “Impressive, cool kid! How badly did you flip your shit when he messaged you?”

“I'll have you know that I was the epitome of cool, thank you very much.”

“Dave, you're about as cool as John.”

"Ouch!! Seriously harsh man, what did I ever do to you?” He stuck his tongue out at her even though she couldn't really see it.

She simply snickered. “Okay, so I'll have pity on you and give you a few tidbits of info on him. One, he's a diehard romantic. If it weren't for the fact that Nicholas Sparks turned out to be such a disgusting piece of shit he'd still be worshipping those books. Two, be really careful if you decide to get him flowers. He knows the language by heart--that's why he's been doing so well with Jade. If you get him flowers with negative meanings he’ll start doubting your intentions.” Milky eyes gave him a hard stare over her glasses. “What _are_ your intentions anyway?”

Dave was taken aback. “Just, uh, date? I haven't really thought that far ahead, but I'm definitely not just gonna hit it and quit it, no way man, if we got hella chemistry I'm going for the long haul, cue the wedding bells if we get that far--blech!” Pyralspite had effectively stopped the rambling with kisses.

Terezi hummed in approval. “Good. He's an ex but he's still one of my best friends. I don't want him hurt, even if you are one of my besties too.”

Dave was surprised. “You...do realize this means your two exes may start dating, right?”

She simply shrugged with a sharp grin. “If you're happy you're happy! Besides, I'm over you both now so no skin off my nose. I'm glad you’re actually thinking of it as a relationship though, he's had enough one night stands."

“Jesus I can see why. He's so hot oh my god ‘Rezi, he's got the most delicious looking tan ever, it's like liquid caramel just poured over him, and his hair is so thick I wanna run my hands through it and just play with it all day and God have you seen his _smile_?”

Terezi stared at him before letting out a low whistle. “You got it bad.” Dave whined, which only made her snicker. “It's cute~ I never thought I'd see you this lovesick!”

“Oh shut up. I saw you dyed your hair blond again, gonna throw in a new color?”

“Yeah, I got tired of the purple. Today we’re gonna go with red and green! Good thing you came early, I need your help with that.”

“Oh jeez, your mom’s gonna think we murdered someone again.”

“You'd think she'd know that we'd hide the evidence a lot better.”

* * *

 

Once freshly streaked, Terezi was examining her work clothes--really just dancing clothes, since her job was to keep the energy pumped. “Whatcha think tonight?”

“Green definitely. Go with that lime green top and those black short shorts, and the white sneakers you splattered with green paint. It'll really pop in the lights.”

“Aw yeah, green for the money!” Terezi giggled as she threw a pair of skinny pants at Dave. “Oh yeah, I invited my friend Nepeta to the club, you'll have to meet her! She's such a cutie!”

Dave caught them with a grin. “Sounds good, I'll make sure to pull all the stops when I'm mixing.” He found his favorite shirt, the one with red sleeves and the scratched record on the chest, and started getting dressed. “What's she like?”

“Short but super strong, she could bench me I think. She's also really sweet and kind and a huge animal lover. Small preference for cats but she just loves all animals, and even volunteers at the shelter when she can!” Terezi chirped as she pulled the halter top on. “Oh and she's Karkat’s stepsister.”

That got Dave’s attention. “Stepsister?”

“Yeah, his dad married her mom. Funny, she had a crush on him in middle school but when they became a family that kinda went out the window.” She wriggled into the shorts and gave her hair a few fluffs to make it poofy. “Now they're the corniest siblings you'll ever see.”

“Aww~” He laughed and tied his shoes, waiting for Terezi to do the same before offering an arm. “My lady~”

She teasingly tittered and accepted it. “So chivalrous~”

The two rode down to where the club was, only twenty minutes away--Dave on his board and Terezi on her skates. She followed behind him of course, trusting him to keep her from skating right into a pole. It did help that they had gone down the path so often that she had memorized the placement of everything.

Inside the club they separated for their jobs, Terezi heading for the dance floor and Dave going right for the DJ station. As soon as his hands touched the records he felt a sense of home settling into his core. Music was where he belonged, and once the club was open he was mixing away, falling into the usual trance that always kept him captivated and utterly out of tune with the rest of the world.

So focused was he on the music that he didn't notice the intense gaze of amber eyes on him.


	4. Striped Tulip, Purple Lilac, Yellow Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, sorry that this chapter took so long! I've been busy since the last update and had a little bit of trouble getting this one out. Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos! I'll be responding to them all soon, promise! You've made this author extremely happy!
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

Dave made sure to remember what Terezi had said about Karkat and flowers when he went to meet the other man at the Gutsy Gumshoe for brunch. It had led to a lot of Googling to make sure he wasn’t going to say the wrong thing. Luckily Jade was quite happy to let him pick a small bouquet for his date--with plenty of eyebrow waggles and wink-nudge combos. He was able to put together a couple of pink roses with a few purple, along with one white rose. He double checked his phone to make sure it was the right colors. “Okay, friendship, grace, admiration, enchantment, and I’m hella worthy of him.” He paused and swallowed nervously. “I hope.”

He headed for the cafe/bakery with a nervous but excited skip to his step. He even made sure to wear his nicest red t-shirt with a leather jacket tossed over it and the skinny jeans that clung to his legs and ass perfectly. Just because he wasn’t going for a one night stand didn’t mean he couldn’t frame the goods just right for viewing. And since he was such good friends with John, he may be able to get a discount from his cousin!

Gods, he couldn’t wait to smell those fresh baked apple pies, they were probably the best things he had ever had the pleasure of sinking his teeth into. If apple pie was a person he might have married it.

...No, he didn’t have a fetish for apples, thank you very much.

He spotted Karkat sitting at a table outside, a mug in hand as he perused one of Jane’s menus. Dave had to take a moment to recover because he had forgotten just how damn _gorgeous_ he was, especially in the early-autumn sunshine. It was apparently cool enough for Karkat to be wearing a dark sweater which did absolutely shit-all to hide the line of his shoulders. Clearing his throat he stopped in front of the table, startling Karkat mid-sip. “Uh, hey. So, got you these,” he finished, trying hard not to bite his lip out of nerves as he thrust the flowers out.

To his relief there was a faint flush on Karkat’s cheeks, but he did grin a bit as he accepted them. “Thanks. Though is this some kind of ironic shit, getting a florist flowers?”

“Nah, this is completely sincere, promise,” Dave said, putting a hand to his heart and holding the other up. “Scout’s honor.”

One thick black eyebrow quirked up. “Were you ever actually a scout?”

“Not even for a day.” Dave elegantly slumped into his chair as Karkat rolled his eyes. “You ever been here before?”

Karkat shook his head. “Haven’t really had the time. I only came back this May after I graduated, and after that was getting settled in with my sister, getting a job, that kind of thing. So I haven’t had much of a chance to actually explore what’s new around town. This is a nice place though, gotta say.”

Dave grinned and nodded. “Yep, John’s cousin Jane owns this place. She’s--”

“Waiting for you to stop gabbing and tell me your order, Mr. Strider.”

Said Strider seemed to light up as he turned toward the extremely curvy cutie his sister was pining for, lowering his shades to shoot her a wink. “Awww come on Jane, you love me~”

She gave a heavy sigh that dripped with amusement, as did her eyeroll. “Sure I do. The usual coffee and cream order?”

“Oh hell yeah, you know how much I love my apple coffee.” He pretended not to notice the incredulous stare he received from Karkat. “Got any recommendations for food-wise? Karkat’s never been here.”

Jane tapped her chin thoughtfully with her pen, a playful smile curling her lips. “Depends, is this a friend hangout or a date?”

“Why is that any of your business--”

“She’s teasing, Karkat, she doesn’t mean anything by it,” Dave quickly said, giving Karkat’s hand a pat. He couldn’t help but wonder just where Karkat was from considering how his skin managed to hide some of his blush. Lucky bastard, he always burned or freckled up. “And it’s, kinda, somewhere along the lines of leaning toward romance but could potentially turn into a no-homo situation depending on how things go--”

“I’m going to have to gag you in order to take you anywhere, aren’t I,” Karkat deadpanned. There was a playful glitter in his eyes however that made Dave swallow nervously and Jane raise her eyebrows with a grin. Karkat turned to Jane with a small shrug. “It’s more of a first date than anything else. What does that have to do with anything?” he asked curiously.

Jane giggled a bit and pulled her notepad out of her apron pocket. “Because for a first date there’s nothing better than strawberry and cream pancakes! I like the brunch take on it, it’s unique!”

Karkat nodded in agreement, shooting Dave a light smile that made the blond feel red start creeping along his neck. “I do too. Nice to have something... _interesting_ for once.”

“SO how about those pancakes Jane they sound really good and maybe some bacon with it too or would sausage be better I mean you can never go wrong with bacon but for all I know Karkat’s got a preference do you prefer sausage it’s totally okay if you do even if bacon is the best and maybe we can get some aj on the side with the coffee--”

Karkat swiftly clamped a hand over Dave’s mouth, laughing at his motor mouth. “Okay, when you’re not going off the racetrack like a shitty driver with a tire blowout, you’re pretty cute,” he teased lightly. “I’m fine with bacon. I’ll try the pancakes too,” he told Jane.

She laughed while Dave simply gave a thumbs up. “Double order of pancakes, coming up~ have fun you two!” She shot Dave a saucy wink before she all but skipped off.

Once the tanned hand finally slipped away Dave cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair to try and bring his chill back. It wasn’t completely working. “S-so you like bacon?”

“Nah, I ordered it just to bust your ass,” Karkat snarked with a smirk over his coffee mug. “Yes, I like bacon. Not my favorite but it’s okay for breakfast. I don’t think talking about our breakfast preferences is what you want to do though.”

Dave managed a sheepish grin. “Not really. You said something about coming back in May. You finish college?”

“Mhm, finished my bachelor’s in screenwriting with a minor in art,” Karkat replied. “Hoping that I can get one finished and submitted to someone, but for now just working with Jade’s fine. Helps to have some cash saved up while I keep writing. You?”

“Bachelor’s in film studies actually,” the blond replied, feeling more relaxed. “But that’s really just because I wanna try and get some patrons to fund me doing my true passion.”

Karkat tilted his head to the side curiously. “And that is?”

Dave grinned. “Archaeology. I’ve _always_ been into it since I was a little kid. So I actually went into a double major for both film and archaeology. I like making movies but I’m way more interested in going digging for bones or just finding new things for history. I even got to go abroad and do some excavating in Egypt!”

“Oh? That sounds cool!” Karkat leaned forward a bit with a curious smile. “Tell me more?”

Dave utterly lit up. He hadn’t been able to properly gush about his trip after Aradia had gone to Spain to work on the Cova Gran project. So he started talking about the City of the Dead, how it had grown and through the centuries and that there were dozens of fantastically preserved monuments from the 10th to 19th centuries in the ancient Muslim cemeteries. There were times when he faltered, but Karkat simply urged him on, asking questions for better understanding. It wasn’t until Jane tapped them both on the shoulders that they stopped and looked up at her in confusion. “Uh, yeah?”

She simply pointed to their plates now on the table. “Brunch is served, boys.”

“Oh, thanks.” Both Dave and Karkat flushed in sheepishness at having been so distracted they had lost track of time. The blond cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his head. “Uh, okay, didn’t mean to just blab about my own life. What about you? Anything interesting?”

Karkat hummed thoughtfully, spearing a strawberry and biting into it. “Nothing as interesting as excavation, but I’ve been to Turkey several times to visit my family.”

“Oh? You’re Turkish?”

“Mhm. Mom died a few years after I was born, so Dad was the only one taking care of me and my older brother Kankri for a long time. Luckily our aunt Myrosa really helped us out. Whenever we could swing it we’d take a trip to Istanbul to visit extended family,” Karkat explained, plucking a piece of bacon off his plate to nibble on. “Beautiful place, if you ever can you should visit it.”

Dave nodded with a small chuckle. “It’s on my list of places to travel. Has the unrest died down any though? My cousins and brother would freak if I went and got myself killed in a bloody civil war.”

Karkat laughed softly. “No, I get it. It looks like things are finally starting to get itself resolved though, which is good. Got an uncle in the government so he keeps us all in the loop. For the longest time it’s been a giant shitstorm wrapped up in a flaming basket heading down to hell on a river of oil.”

A low whistle left Dave’s lips. “Nice wordplay.”

“Thanks, came with the degree.”

“Heh, bet the loans make it worse.”

Karkat’s smile curled into a smirk. “Didn’t have any loans taken out. I won enough scholarships along with a few yearly grants to only need to pay a few grand per year.”

Dave blinked in surprise. “Damn. That’s real good. How’d you manage that?”

“Good grades and a fuckton of essays,” Karkat replied, chuckling. “By the way I think I’m in love with these pancakes.”

“I know right? Jane’s the _best_. She used to be the heiress to the Betty Crocker company but she said fuck that and set up her own place. John said she’s a lot happier now.”

“I bet. There’s nothing worse than being forced into a career you despise,” the brunet agreed with a wise nod. “Kinda glad that while I get my bearings I’m able to keep a job. I’m hoping to get a job as a screenwriter though. That’d be great.”

“Yeah, I hear ya. As much as I’d rather go back to the City of the Dead, I need to keep earning my keep.”

“How’d you even get into tattooing in the first place?”

“It was almost accidental actually,” Dave confessed with a laugh. “I just do art for fun and then Roxy convinced me to show Porrim my work, next thing I know I’m getting a tutorial on how to use a tattoo gun. It’s good for saving up money though. And I’m working at Dirk’s club until he can find a new DJ with the same sick beats as the two of us.”

“Oh, aren’t we full of ourselves,” Karkat teased with a quick lick along his thumb to catch a stray strand of syrup. He didn’t see Dave’s eyes follow the movement behind the aviators. “Is that why you keep those douchebag shades on?”

“Hey man, I gotta keep the cool kid shades on or else I’ll blind everyone with my beauty,” he teased, lowering them to flutter his eyelashes at Karkat. “But actually it’s just ‘cause my eyes are super sensitive,” he added as he pulled them off and blinked in the faded sunlight. “The cons of being albino. The shades are script too.”

Karkat leaned forward to get a better look at Dave’s eyes, his own amber ones wide with wonder. “Whoa...has anyone told you they’re beautiful?” A small smile played on his lips when Dave started to blush. “Well, they are. But if you need them put ‘em back on, I don’t need another blind date.”

“Lemme guess, Terezi?”

“Yep.”

“Shit, how did we even not talk until now if we have so many mutual acquaintances?”

“Dave, that is the best fucking question anyone’s ever asked.”

* * *

Once Dave got back to his apartment he immediately ran into his room and jumped on his bed, grabbing his penguin plush to press his face into as he fell into giddy giggles. It had been without a doubt the best first date he had ever been on! Karkat was adorable, clever, smart, snarky, and he was totally crushing on him. “Ahhhh he’s so cute~” he almost squealed. “Oh man, I hope we can go out again soon!”

At Karkat’s apartment the brunet was hiding his face in his own pillow as he laughed happily. He hadn’t had so much fun on a date in a long time! He felt like he was in high school with his first crush all over again. And those eyes, those gorgeous red eyes...they were going to stay in his head for a long time.


	5. Sweet Alyssum, Primrose, White Carnation

“...kat.”

_He likes me, he likes me not. He likes me, he likes me not. He likes me--_

“Karkat!”

“Wha!” The brunet jumped a mile in the air and nearly lost the clippers, scrambling to catch them before they dropped again. “Sorry, Jade, what did you say?”

His ‘boss’ rolled her eyes and propped her hands on her hips. “I said I needed your help! You can hold off on pruning the display bushes, we have to close the shop down and make a delivery! Remember?”

“Oh, right.”

“Honestly, you’ve been so ditzy lately!” She shook her head and tossed her thick ponytail back over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll drive. That way you can fantasize more about Dave and his big strong arms holding you close while he whispers endearingly ironic words into your ear--” She ducked to avoid the deluge of clipped flowers that he threw at her, laughing. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop!”

“ _Thank_ you.” Karkat could feel his cheeks burn as he followed Jade to the storage room, beginning to help her fill the van up with the arrangements. She had hit a little too close with that though. He had been a bit preoccupied with thinking of their last date--walking down the beach after a light dinner and holding hands properly for the first time. It had ended with cheek kisses and blushes and dorky grins. “Honestly, I think you’re more excited that he and I are starting to date than either of us.”

“Well, that’s because you’re both two of my best friends!” she chirped. “And if anything it means that I get to tease both of you~” she added with a snicker as Karkat turned redder. They had a system set up where Karkat would bring Jade the arrangements and she would organize them in the van. It allowed them to continue their chat. “So, when’s your next date?”

Karkat gave a half-shrug as he pushed another large bucket filled with flowers inside the van. “Not sure yet, but since the wedding season’s almost done it may calm down enough that I can take him someplace.” With a disgusted groan at how sweaty he already felt he yanked his hoodie off to reveal a tank underneath. “How many do we have to bring?”

“There’s still another four buckets to bring, and the arrangement buckets too!” Jade chirped. “I’ll get those, you keep grabbing the flowers. I'm thinking of hiring someone else for the shop, that way while we’re running deliveries we can keep it open. What do you think?”

“If you have the money for it I say go for it,” he replied, double checking the bucket of roses. “But then again you and your cousin are filthy fucking rich.”

“We’re not filthy rich! Just rich enough that we can sink plenty of money into our personal interests,” she shot back with a laugh. “Besides, I have no idea what Jake’s up to lately. Last I heard he was finishing his latest trip in Mexico exploring the Aztec temples there. He did say he was going to be coming home soon, dunno when though.”

“Has he considered getting a job as a travel guide? He’d be great at it I think, where _hasn't_ he been by now?”

“Haha true! He did mention something about starting up some kind of robotics company maybe. He said a friend of his he met online has some great ideas and he may actually partner with him!”

“Holy shit, really? That's pretty ducking awesome. Has he met the friend in person?”

“Not yet, Jake’s always traveling and the guy was apparently taking over a business for a friend. I don't know all the details but hey, maybe this little venture will get him to stay at home for more than a month!”

Karkat laughed even as he shoved a fourth bucket of flowers inside the van. “Maybe! I've only met him a couple times and he seems alright.”

“He's also a huge dork.”

“ _We’re_ huge dorks.”

“Touche!” Jade pushed the last box of hand painted buckets next to the flowers and dusted off her hands. “Is that everything?”

Karkat nodded as he examined a flower to make sure it hadn't been bent. “Yep. I’ll go double check that the shop’s closed, you warm up the van?”

_Click._

“Yep! Sounds good!”

“Delete that picture right now!”

“No way, this is going on the shop page!” Jade danced away from an embarrassed Karkat's swipe and jumped into the van, locking it before he could grab the handle. She stuck her tongue out at him and laughed as his annoyed ranting was muffled. Her only response was to shoo him off while starting the van.

_ hey dave, think i should add this to the shop fb page? _

* * *

 

Rose’s typing paused at the sudden choke and spittake from across the table, and she glanced up from her manuscript with an elegant eyebrow raised. “Is everything alright?”

“I'm dying Rose, dying from his fucking hotness,” her twin moaned dramatically. “I'm not going to survive!” He showed her the picture that Jade had been so kind as to send him. Karkat was leaning over examining deep red roses, one hand delicately cupping a bloom. The arm facing the camera had two doves in flight tattooed upon the shoulder with ribbon held in their beaks. They seemed a bit faded, Dave immediately remembering that he had mentioned getting a touch up with Porrim. It definitely looked like her work. And then there was just how toned the arms were, and how those jeans clung to his legs and showed off the damn finest booty Dave had ever been blessed to see, the slight sheen of sweat from work, the gentle focused expression on Karkat’s face…

Rose hummed in amusement. “I see what you mean. While I may not have the same attraction you hold for him, I can certainly agree that he is aesthetically pleasing.”

“So you get what I mean?”

“Oh yes. You're screwed, and hopefully in the best way possible.”

Dave stuck his tongue out at her before focusing on replying to Jade. Rose giggled and turned her attention back to the laptop.

TT: So you wouldn't be opposed to perhaps a cup of coffee this Thursday morning?  
GA: Not Just Unopposed Miss Lalonde  
GA: I Would Love To  
GA: Is There Anyplace You Would Recommend  
TT: There's the Gutsy Gumshoe on Prospit Avenue. They make a lovely omelet and have some amazing pastries as well.  
GA: That Sounds Perfect

Rose glanced at Dave, noticed his preoccupation, and allowed a nervously giddy smile to cross her lips.

* * *

 

Karkat climbed into the van just as Jade received her reply. One eyebrow quirked up at the snicker that escaped her. “What?”

“My photography expert agrees with me that the picture is perfect for our page!”

“Oh god, did you send it to John?”

“Nope.” He breathed a sigh of relief. “Dave.”

And there went that. “What?!”

Jade practically cackled in glee at the sudden flush that appeared on Karkat’s face. “He says and I quote, how dare you send me that without a caution, contents extremely hot warning.” Karkat’s flush deepened as she continued. “He also said that there was no way he was the first person you dated in this area since you came back from college or else he'd eat his hat. Which I don't get, he doesn't even own any hats! How can he eat what he doesn't own? Oh, and then he added that if I do post it on the page then I may need to add a note that you're taken.” Jade shot him a sly smile. “Is that true~?”

Karkat worried at his bottom lip in thought, glancing out the window at the passing scenery. “Well...maybe. We haven't said anything, but we've been on three dates now. So, does that mean we’re official?”

“I’d say so!” Jade glanced at him before focusing on the road again. “Maybe you should ask him.”

“Ugh, I feel almost like a desperate tool to have to ask.” Karkat pulled his phone out and fiddled with it thoughtfully. “...He really wants to be my boyfriend?”

Jade gained a soft smile and she nodded. “Absolutely.”

Karkat looked at his phone before taking a deep breath. “Well, here goes fucking nothing.”

There was a calm pause before Jade started giggling. “He didn’t actually tell me that I should say that you’re taken. I just said that to get you to ask him.”

_“What?!”_

* * *

 

_Karkat ‘'Adorabloodthirsty’ Vantas sent a relationship request to Dave ‘SnoopDoggityDiggity’ Strider._

The shriek and thud that came from the living room made Rose nearly drop her tea cup. “Dave, are you okay?”

“I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!” Dave came running into the kitchen, sliding on his socks to a neat stop next to him in order to show her his phone excitedly. “Look! He sent me a relationship request!”

Rose patted his shoulder, smiling warmly and without the usual sarcasm. “I’m happy for you, Dave. Truly. Should I brace myself for even more gushing from you?”

“Duh.” Dave hopped up on the counter as he clicked _accept_ with a ridiculous grin. “So come on, when am I going to get gushing from you about any girls?” When Rose hesitated and looked at her tea his smile started to slip. “Rose?”

“...Well...I have a coffee date this Thursday,” she said with a small hopeful grin. “With someone I met on a book forum.” She noticed Dave’s grin return and she giggled a bit. “Her name’s Kanaya, and we actually starting talking because we were arguing over a trashy vampire novel. I finally asked her out today, and we’re going to meet at Jane’s cafe.”

“Eyyy, I’m proud of ya sis! And you’re doing it safely too!” he teased with a nudge. “But in all seriousness, text me when you’re there and when the date’s over?”

“Of course.” She squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek. “Now, don’t you have a boyfriend to pester before work?”

“And don’t you have another overly complicated book to finish writing?”

“It’s not overly complicated, it’s--”

“Rose. It’s complicated as all fuck. Shakespeare would take one look at it and call it the most purple prose he ever saw, so fucking purple that Queen Elizabeth would be honored to have it on her shelf.”

“I take that as a compliment.”

* * *

 

TG: heeey sexy  
TG: so i still think you can bench press me or at the least pick me up  
CG: JUST BECAUSE I HAUL BUCKETS OF FLOWERS AND WATER TO WEDDINGS WHERE BRIDES ARE PANICKING BECAUSE THEY THINK THEIR FUCKING DAY IS RUINED BY ONE SIMPLE BLOSSOM BEING BENT OUT OF WHACK OR THAT THE SKY ISN’T BLUE ENOUGH OR THE GROOM WAS CAUGHT CHEATING WITH THE MAID OF HONOR DOESN’T MEAN I’M THAT STRONG.  
TG: im gonna guess you had a bad day  
CG: YES.  
CG: JADE AND I HAD THREE WEDDINGS TO DELIVER TO. ALL OF THEM HAD BRIDEZILLAS.  
CG: I’M FUCKING *EXHAUSTED*.  
TG: shit man im sorry  
TG: anything i can do  
CG: WELL…  
CG: I DO HAVE ONE IDEA.  
CG: HOW ABOUT A MOVIE DATE?  
TG: that sounds like a fan fucking tastic idea  
TG: netflix and chill but not anything sexual or shit  
TG: we just became bfs im not someone whos ready to jump anyones bones immediately  
TG: not that your bones arent jumpable  
TG: wait shit that came out wrong  
CG: PFFTHAHAHA.  
CG: I APPRECIATE THE COMPLIMENT ANYWAY.  
CG: IT’S KINDA CUTE WHEN YOU PUT YOUR ENTIRE DAMN FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH.  
CG: YOU REALLY ARE A MOTOR MOUTH HUH?  
TG: i swear the number of times rose threatened to tape my mouth shut  
TG: its not my fault i ramble man i just get all these thoughts and i have to let them out  
TG: or else they just keep building and building until the dam starts to crack and breaks  
TG: not even a kids finger can keep the words from spilling out  
CG: LIKE THE BEANS?  
TG: haha exactly  
TG: so you wanna do the movies at my house or yours  
CG: CAN I COME TO YOURS?  
CG: MY DAD AND STEPMOM ARE HAVING A DATE NIGHT AND I DON’T THINK I WANT TO BE HOME FOR THAT.  
TG: ew yeah no definitely not  
TG: my place is 682 derse boulevard  
TG: top floor suite 2  
CG: SUITE?  
CG: WHAT, DO YOU LIVE IN A PENTHOUSE?  
TG: long story short my older sister roxy bought me and my twin condo suites  
TG: and wouldnt take no for an answer  
TG: if when you meet her youll understand why  
CG: SO KIND OF LIKE JADE?  
TG: haha yeah except roxy will hack my computer and reveal all my dirty laundry to rose  
TG: i think thats the worst thing she could ever threaten  
TG: but shes really cool youll like her  
CG: OH. WELL, THAT’S PRETTY COOL. SO, WHEN SHOULD I COME OVER?  
TG: be here in half an hour maybe  
TG: gives me a bit of time to make sure everythings vacuumed and shit  
TG: and stop at the store  
CG: FOR WHAT?  
TG: just a few things  
TG: insert eyebrow wiggles here  
CG: YOU FUCKING PERVERT. YOU’RE LUCKY YOU’RE CUTE.  
TG: awww you think im cute  
TG: that gives me all the warm fuzzies inside  
CG: OH MY GOD, I’M ENDING THIS NOW.  
TG: what babe no why  
CG: WELL I’M NOT GOING TO TEXT AND DRIVE!  
TG: oh  
TG: okay yeah fair point  
TG: so see you soon then  
CG: YEAH, SEE YOU SOON.  
TG: <3  
CG: YOU’RE SUCH A DAMN NERD OH MY *GOD.*  
TG: you love it  
CG: MAYBE.  
CG: <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoooooly shit, I'm so sorry it took me so long to update! I've been having my ass kicked by school as well as my new job, and then there was some personal stuff that put me off writing anything for a while. But I'm back! And with a new chapter, which I hope y'all enjoy!


	6. Forget-me-Not, Begonia, Columbine

When Dave said he lived in a condo suite, he hadn’t specified which. Or to be more precise, Karkat hadn’t expected him to be in one of the most ritzy damn buildings in town. There was even a fucking bellhop, what the hell. Karkat gaped at the skyscraper for a bit before going inside, feeling ridiculously poor in comparison. The inside was...well. It dripped in glitz and glamour and made him feel shabby in simple jeans and jacket. He did however appreciate the way his trenchcoat swept out behind him dramatically along the wall mirrors.

He had made it inside the elevator and the doors were just closing when a hand grabbed one side. When they opened Karkat blinked twice. “Dave?”

“Karkat! Hey, perfect timing.” The blond held up a store bag with a grin. “I got popcorn.”

Karkat returned the grin and added a kiss to the cheek which was happily returned. “Awesome. But I got a bone to pick with you, mister ‘my sister bought a condo.’ I thought you meant a normal condo, not fucking Buckingham Palace!”

Dave grimaced. “Yeah...so my older sister is rich as all hell, she’s a bigtime computer programmer. Got on the government’s shit list in high school but then got a job and she just took off like NASA.”

Karkat couldn't help but laugh a bit. “Okay, so it was a gift from her and she's the kind of person you can't say no to basically.”

“Yep.”

“Sounds like my step mom. She's like, benevolently forceful. Thank god for her though, or else I'd have had to disown my older brother.”

Dave’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Oh he was a really weird like, he was an SJW in high school but not the good slash normal kind,” Karkat explained with a casual wave of his hand. “He almost did get disowned before he realized just how much he fucked up, situation was downright abysmal. But like, sibling wise there's Kankri, and Nepeta and Meulin are my stepsisters. You got any other siblings?”

Dave couldn't help the dry laugh as the elevator opened for them to head to his condo. “It’s...complicated. But yeah, there's Roxy, my twin Rose, and my older brother Dirk. Oh and there's my oldest brother who's dead now.”

Karkat spun his head around to look at Dave in shock, but the set of his jaw and the tight frown made him reconsider his words. “...So...Dirk is the one you started the club with?”

The blond’s shoulders relaxed and he nodded. “Yeah, there really aren't many clubs around here so he saw an opportunity and capitalised it. It helped that he had Roxy’s full support. Pretty sure she blackmailed a few investors,” he added, grinning at Karkat’s snort of amusement. “Dirk’s also really into engineering, robotics and shit. He’s looking into partnering with some guy who’s really interested and maybe getting a robotics business started. Roxy may be an amazing computer hacker but Dirk’s fucking insane when it comes to robotics. I think he’s actually on a breakthrough for true artificial intelligence!”

“Aww, you’re so proud of your family,” Karkat cooed. He drank in the sudden embarrassed flush from Dave with a grin. “It’s so sweet!”

“Oh shut up.” Flustered, Dave fumbled with the key for a moment before getting the door unlocked and opened. “Welcome to the home of sick beats, please leave your shoes and any awful music tastes at the door.”

“I’m keeping my eighties rock ballads, thank you very much,” Karkat teased as he slipped his shoes off as told. When he went to hang up his coat the umbrella stand confused him. “...Why are there two katanas in here?”

“Oh, nah, one’s an umbrella. The other is Dirk’s. He asked me to keep it while he was in Texas.”

After puzzling over that for a moment Karkat turned and followed Dave further into the condo, looking around curiously. It wasn’t nearly as over the top as the lobby, but the highly prominent watercolor portrait of apple juice was a bit much. Otherwise his walls, a pale blue shade, were covered in photographs. He recognized John, Jade, and a blonde woman that looked so much like Dave that it had to be his twin Rose posing with Dave at a fair, cotton candy and overpriced souvenirs included. “What did you do, have a professional follow you with a camera?”

“Naw, man, that’s all me.” Dave preened at the gobsmacked expression on Karkat’s face. “I turned an extra room into a darkroom. When I have time I develop film. Let me tell you, color film is a bitch to do with being all exactly on time and even half a second more will ruin the picture. I prefer b and w because of that.”

Karkat shook his head and turned back to look at the photos while the other tucked his sunglasses into his collar.. “Shit, Dave...it’s incredible. You mix music, you’re a tattoo artist, a photographer, what  _ can’t _ you do?”

“Anything sporty,” was the instant reply. Karkat looked back and he saw Dave quickly absconding into what he presumed to be the kitchen. Ten bucks said he was hiding his embarrassment. He chuckled a bit and turned his attention back to the living room. It was surprisingly tasteful, with a gorgeous large TV on the wall and the matching black leather couch, loveseat, and two chairs facing it. He particularly liked the electric fireplace set up underneath the TV. “So, are we watching in here then?”

“Oh hell no, this is for parties or when I have movie nights with like 20 people.” The ding of a microwave starting rang out and Dave poked his head in. “I got some orange soda, root beer, Coke, Pepsi since John hates Coke like a plebeian, Mountain Dew, Sprite, aj, oj, sweet tea made proper and not shitty Lipton tea, vodka, whiskey, gin--uhh...was that too much?”

“Just a little,” Karkat said faintly. “Ok, just how much did you earn to afford that much drink?”

“Oh shit, nah, I didn’t buy all of it. Like the booze I just keep on hand as a just in case thing, and the other drinks are mostly left over here from either parties from earlier in the year or the last movie night a couple weeks ago,” Dave reassured him. “It was just me, John, Rose, and Jade. So, drink--oh shit!”

Karkat snickered and went into the kitchen as Dave rescued the popcorn before it could burn. It was nice and modern with chrome appliances, red marble countertops with an island, and pale wood cupboards. There were some paintings of what he guessed to be crows hanging on dark green walls, and to his amusement the fridge was covered in even more photographs. Only one door and half a side were still uncovered. “Your sister has good taste.”

“I just picked paint colors out. She and Dirk really helped me and Rose out with getting settled in after we graduated.” Dave poured the popcorn into a bowl and grinned at Karkat. “You can go in the fridge for a drink, it won’t bite.”

“Isn’t that your job?” Karkat teased. The sudden red face and sputtering made him laugh.

“Hey man, let’s get to the sixth date before we start doing any biting,” Dave quickly shot back in recovery. “Didn’t take you for a masochist, going to just file that under nifty things about my boyfriend.” Even with Karkat’s sudden blush Dave still shot him a giddy grin. He was clearly still riding high on having a boyfriend. “Grab me an aj babe?”

“You’re lucky you’re cute or else I’d say no,” Karkat snarked back. He still did so, and grabbed a Coke for himself. “So where are we having our movie night?”

Dave’s smile turned mischievous and he gestured for Karkat to follow him down the hall. At the end of the hallway he gestured into the room. “Behold, my media room!”

When Karkat looked in his jaw dropped. The TV was most likely 70 inches, with bookcases filled with movies of all genres on either side and another electric fireplace underneath. There were also video games and systems set up in a perfect order. In the back there were a set of turntables along with records tucked away and organized by name. In front of the TV was a red couch trimmed in gold. Somehow it fit the dark red room with blackout curtains. “Holy shithive maggots.”

Dave snorted. “Such a way with words,” he teased. “I'm gonna guess you like it?”

“Like it? It’s fucking fantastic is what it is! Though the gold on the couch is a little pretentious.”

“Hey don’t diss the couch, I got it at a yard sale for thirty bucks and outfitted it with new cushions and everything.” The blond put the bowl of popcorn down and looked at the movies. “So do you wanna watch something on Netflix or nah?”

Karkat shrugged as he gracefully plopped onto the couch. “Surprise me. But, nothing with weddings for a bit,” he added with a laugh. “I don't need any more crazy brides.”

Dave nodded and started scanning the shelves. “Action, drama, comedy, horror?”

“How about something that combines those genres? Like, I dunno,  _ The Mummy? _ ”

Dave grinned and pulled the DVD off the shelf. “Works for me. It's one of my favorite movies. The second one is alright.” It took him a few minutes, but as soon as the movie was in the player and the TV was on he took his own place on the couch, bowl in between them. “And if you need to we can totally cuddle at the scary parts,” Dave added with a wink. “That goes for any movies, but especially _The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl_.”

Karkat snickered and shook his head. “Sure, you can be my knight in shining shades,” he playfully snarked.

Dave threw a few pieces of popcorn at him with a laugh. “Screw you man, I need them so my eyes don't burn out from the sun!”

“Ack! Sneak attack!” Karkat tossed a few back, causing Dave to laugh even harder. The brunet was struck for a moment at just how gorgeous Dave was, especially when he laughed. His eyes would gain this sparkle that made his insides feel like goo, and they'd crinkle from the force of his smile. Luckily the menu for the movie came up and Dave started it before Karkat could say something and probably ruin the moment. He tucked his feet under him and relaxed into the incredibly comfortable cushions. He could already feel the tension leak out of his shoulders.

Halfway through the movie the popcorn was gone, and the space where the bowl had been seemed ridiculously wide. Karkat couldn't help but keep glancing at it. Should he move closer? Would that be too much? What if--

“Oh get over here.” Dave was pink even as he pulled Karkat closer with a grin. “You've been looking at the couch for five minutes now, if you wanna cuddle just say so.”

Karkat unceremoniously flopped against the blond, who merely laughed at the startled sound that escaped the brunet. “So, uh, you're okay with this?” he asked, adjusting so that he was leaning against him and not squashing him.

Dave simply wrapped an arm around him. “Cuddles are the shit. Now shoosh, a good part’s coming up.” Karkat chuckled but nodded, after a moment reaching up to hold the hand on his shoulders. Their fingers intertwining sent warmth through his chest. This was...perfect.

When the credits rolled Karkat looked up at Dave. “You know...I have tomorrow off. Wanna watch another?”

“What a coincidence, so do I. Maybe Jade and Porrim worked together,” Dave joked. He reluctantly untangled their hands so that he could get up and put the second movie in. “You know, as much as I love these movies, the terrible history always gets me.”

“Really? How so?”

“For one thing, Imhotep was a good guy, not a villain,” Dave started as he switched DVDs. “He was a scribe under King Djoser who became a god like a thousand years or two thousand after he died. He’s been called the true father of medicine,” he added as he returned to the couch. Karkat immediately tucked himself against his side, which made him grin even as he continued. “He's also considered to be the guy who designed the Step Pyramid, the first pyramid ever built. So not only do you have them making a guy who was pretty awesome a villain, but they even fucked up on what pharaoh he served! I mean, come on, you could just Google that shit! Though I guess back then they would've had to crack open a book but it’s not that hard to do that either, it would've taken maybe five minutes to--uh, Karkat?”

Karkat's eyes were shining in the light from the TV. “Dave. Shut the fuck up.” And then he kissed him.

He felt his entire face start to burn from the full blush that erupted. Once he got over the shock though he was kissing back with a hand on Karkat’s cheek. It was slow and sweet and had the faint taste of popcorn. When they separated Dave’s breath caught at the peaceful joy in Karkat’s eyes. “...we can keep doing this right? Don't have to stop? All aboard the smooch train?”

“You're such a fucking dork oh my  _ god _ ,” Karkat laughed, hugging Dave. “Yeah, sure, all aboard the smooch train. Oh, and Dave?”

“Yeah?”

Karkat gave him a playful smirk. “Talk history to me.”

Dave threw his head back and laughed.

* * *

 

When Karkat jolted upright out of a deep sleep it took him a moment to register the unfamiliar room. That's right, the guest room. He had stayed up until almost 2 am just watching movies and sharing kisses with Dave, and by then he was too tired to drive according to his boyfriend. Luckily he was always prepared with a spare change of clothes and toiletries tucked away in the trunk of his car. After a road trip where Kankri had gotten them lost, he had decided to always keep emergency supplies on hand. So here he was, wide awake. But why?  


“No! Don't…”

Karkat almost leaped out of bed at Dave’s cries and rushed into the master bedroom, making sure to avoid the clutter and laundry on the floor. Dave was curled in a tight ball, clutching his pillow with face scrunched up as if in pain. Little whimpers escaped and struck Karkat’s heart with the force of a truck. “Dave, sweetheart, wake up. It’s me, Karkat. You're safe at home.” It wasn't until he gave him a gentle shake of the shoulders that Dave shot up and out of bed, grabbing for a weapon that wasn't there. “Dave!”

There was a wild, unfocused look in Dave’s eyes, a fear of something, but when Karkat moved in front of him and grabbed his shoulders he flinched briefly before his eyes started to clear. “K...Karkat?”

“Yeah, I'm here. You had a bad nightmare, is all.” A small  _ oof  _ was knocked out of him by the force of the hug Dave initiated, which he of course returned just as tightly. “You're okay, Dave. I gotcha.”

“...sorry ‘bout that,” he replied, even if it was muffled by Karkat’s shoulder. Karkat just shushed him and held him tighter. Dave squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to keep his breathing calm. He was dead, he was never coming back, he was never gonna hurt him again. He had Rose, Roxy, Dirk, John, Jade, Terezi, and now Karkat. He was safe. He was safe. He was safe...wait a minute. He realized that his breathing was synched up with Karkat’s, and that it was in a pattern of in for four, hold for six, release for eight. “...you get anxiety too?”

“Yeah,” came the soft reply. “Did the breathing help?”

“...yeah. Can you, um...this may sound weird, and I totally get if you don't wanna, it may be too much for now since we only became official this morning but maybe--”

“Of course I'm gonna stay with you the rest of the night, you douchecanoe.” The lighthearted tease at the end shocked Dave into laughter, even as Karkat tugged him to bed. The two of them climbed in and were immediately in each other’s arms, Dave tucking his head against Karkat’s neck while the other kept stroking his hair. “Better?”

“Yeah...much, actually. Thanks. For everything.” Dave smiled softly at the gentle kiss to the top of his head. “G’night, Karkat…” Just before he fell back asleep he heard Karkat’s response.

“ _Iyi geceler, cicegim_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bam! New chapter! I'm really on a roll, and all the sweet comments have been amazingly encouraging! Thank y'all so much!! And yes, Karkat does know Turkish as well as English. The translation is "Good night, my flower." Sappy, I know, but it's Karkat. When is he not sappy? ;D


	7. Aster, Witch Hazel, White Hyacinth

Dave woke up to an arm tossed over his head. That wouldn’t be so strange if it was his, but it definitely was too dark to be his own. And the light snoring was definitely not his, either. He shoved the arm off carefully, a jaw-cracking yawn nearly splitting his face. Ugh, he felt so fucking gross, his eyes all crushed and that awful fuzzy slipper feeling coating his teeth. And he had to take a piss.

Once he came back feeling half human he stopped in front of his bed. Karkat was on his side sprawled out, facing the empty spot where he had just been, hair even more ruffled than usual and one foot poking out from under the covers. He smiled a bit before it turned thoughtful. “...I should make it up to him,” he mused quietly.

Karkat eventually woke up to the smell of pancakes tickling his nose. It took him a bit, but he soon managed to drag himself out of the bed, into the bathroom, and then into the kitchen. Spotting his boyfriend at the counter he shuffled over to him and let his head drop on his shoulder. “What time is it?” he mumbled.

Dave chuckled and reached up with his free hand to play with the other’s hair. “Just about 10. Hungry?”

“Mhm.” Karkat lifted his head only to stare blankly at the places. “...You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Dave started to snicker. “What?”

“...Is this more irony shit? If it is it’s too early for it.”

“It’s never too early for pancakes and sausage, babe.”

“These are dick pancakes.”

“That they are.”

“You’re fucking ridiculous.”

Dave laughed a bit but sobered when he turned to face the other. “I just...well, I know last night wasn’t exactly ideal with the whole nightmare horseshit, and I’m sorry if I scared you about it. But, thanks for staying with me,” he added, looking away with an expression almost of shame.

Karkat frowned a bit and took Dave’s hand in his. “You’re fine. It’s not a big deal, staying. You needed me. Like I said, I got anxiety too. I get it. If you ever need my help I’ll give it.”

Dave’s shoulders relaxed and he smiled a bit. “Thanks, Karkat. So, want some dick?”

“Wow, you sure know how to set the mood.” The brunet was still smiling though.

* * *

 

Dave hummed cheerfully as he checked his work station over. The inks were organized, needles set up, and everything was scrubbed and wiped clean. He had a few appointments and a couple of consultations, so it would be sufficiently busy and wouldn’t bore him out of his mind. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

Porrim poked her head into Dave’s room. “You all set? Your 10 o’clock is waiting.”

Dave gave the stunning owner of Tattoo Emporrium a two-fingered salute and a grin. “Send ‘em in.” Soon enough a nervous looking woman came in, and he simply snapped his gloves on. “I promise, even while pricking you I’m not gonna be a prick.”

After the second tattooing appointment Dave took the chance to stretch his legs and have lunch. Porrim was going over papers, so he sat on an empty space on her desk with his sandwich. “Sup, Porrim.”

“Bills, checks, the usual. You’d think the companies would utilize paperless billing more,” the Iranian groused. She tossed her waterfall of hair over her shoulder with a huff. “How’d your appointments go?”

“First one took a while since she was nervous as all fuck, but she was just getting a couple of birds on her shoulder.” Birds were his specialty, after all. “Second one was one of those dumb infinity symbols with live laugh love in it.”

“White suburban soccer mom?”

“Pinned it down in one. It didn't even have a chance to fight back before getting pinned to the mat and the ref counted down.”

Porrim’s eyes audibly rolled. “It’s good money, but I hate those tats. So unoriginal.”

“I know, right? At least the first lady wanted the birds for herself and her dad. He passed away sometime ago and they used to bird watch together.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. I like tattoos with meaning.”

“Oh, and what do all the swirls mean on you then, tentacle hentai?”

“Watch it, Strider, or I’ll dock your pay.” Porrim had a teasing gleam in her eye though. “And if you _must_ know, it’s an abstract representation of me cutting off all ties to my home culture. None of the tattoos are connected, after all.”

Dave hummed thoughtfully and swallowed a bite. “Didn’t even think of that. So you’ll never go back?”

Porrim’s expression darkened. “Not until the morality police are abolished. Back in Iran we are forced not only to dress a certain way but also to follow Islam exactly the way they dictated. I’ve revoked both from my life, and I’m all the happier for it.”

“Huh...are you atheist?”

She shrugged and gave a noncommittal hand waggle. “Kinda. I’d lean more toward agnostic. Mother actually left the religion as well when she got into an argument with mine and Kanaya’s sperm donor over getting a job. He said it was unfitting for a woman to work,” she sneered.

Dave wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Ew. Is he dead?”

“Sadly, no. But let’s move onto something a bit happier.” Porrim set her papers aside and leaned her chin on folded hands, eyes glittering. “Has your sister told you about her date this week?”

Dave grinned and finished his sandwich. “She can’t stop switching up what she’s gonna wear. What about Kanaya?”

“She’s equally freaking out. Our sisters are going to be so mad at us for not telling them we’ve known all along.”

“Worth it.”

* * *

 

TG: so i said to the guy look man youre five states over the mason dixie line if you insist on getting that flag tattoo people are gonna see you as a racist asshole  
CG: HOW'D HE RESPOND?  
TG: he said i shit you not im not a racist my best friend is black  
CG: HOLY SHIT.  
TG: ikr thats what i said  
TG: he got all pissed off and left but porrim said good riddance  
TG: she said business is good enough that we dont need his money  
CG: YEAH, SHE’S ALWAYS HAD A GOOD HEAD ON HER SHOULDERS. KANAYA TOOK AFTER AUNT MYROSA MORE THOUGH. I’M SURPRISED YOU HAVEN’T MET HER YET.  
TG: i only started working there this summer and apparently shes been in new york city for the last two years on a fashion internship but shes coming home for a while  
CG: OH YEAH, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.  
CG: SHE MENTIONED TO ME THAT SHE WAS LOOKING INTO STARTING HER OWN LINE SOON, AND SHE DOES HAVE A JOB LINED UP WITH A DESIGNER WHO WANTS TO HELP HER WITH THAT.  
TG: oh shit man thats dope as fuck  
TG: maybe she can make me a suit i need a new one  
CG: A SUIT? WHAT FOR?  
TG: you know complacency of the learned  
TG: rose wrote that  
TG: so she drags me to fancy author events so she doesnt have to suffer alone  
TG: she nearly started a fistfight with jk rowling once  
CG: NO SHIT? I LOVE THAT BOOK! I NEED TO ASK HER TO SIGN MY COPY NOW.  
CG: ROWLING DESERVES A PUNCH THOUGH, SHE IS SO FUCKING IMPERIAL WITH HER WORLD EXPANSION. THREE SCHOOLS IN EUROPE BUT ONLY ONE IN AFRICA?! NOT TO MENTION THE WHOLE BULLSHIT WITH DUMBLEDORE BEING GAY AFTER THE FACT.  
TG: fucking thank you someone else gets it  
TG: if you have to say after the fact that a characters gay you done fucked up not to mention the fact that his love for goldilocks or whatever turned out to be evil or some shit  
CG: GRINDELWALD, YOU NERD.  
CG: IF YOU WANT A GOOD QUEER SERIES LOOK INTO THE FARADAY FILES, THE PROTAGONIST IS A BI GUY WHO’S PRETTY DEEP IN THE CLOSET AT FIRST.  
CG: THE FIRST BOOK IS THE DEATHSNIFFER’S ASSISTANT, BY KATE MCINTYRE.  
TG: oh man that sounds sweet already  
TG: brb ordering now  
CG: HAHA, HAPPY TO HELP.  
CG: WHEN CAN I SEE YOU AGAIN?  
TG: how about this friday  
TG: the fairs in town so we can go and do all the romantic cliches  
TG: i win you some stuffed animals we share funnel cake and kiss at the top of the ferris wheel before one of us faints from the height  
TG: not me though  
TG: im totes mcgotes chill  
CG: ARE YOU REALLY? YOU’RE NOT DOING SOME MALE BULLSHIT POSTURING RIGHT?  
TG: actually no  
TG: in all seriousness i love heights and flying on planes  
TG: being up high lets me clear my head ill even just chill on the building roof and do some kind of meditation thing  
TG: its really helpful  
CG: HUH. THAT’S INTERESTING.  
TG: interesting how  
CG: MOST PEOPLE HATE HEIGHTS. YOU’RE UNIQUE.  
TG: ive heard fucked up before or even sick in the head but never unique  
CG: DAVE, THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN MY LIFE ARE FUCKED UP IN A MYRIAD OF WAYS.  
CG: IF ENJOYING HIGH PLACES IS ENOUGH TO BE SICK IN THE HEAD THEN I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT THAT MEANS FOR ME.  
TG: what no man youre so cool  
TG: seriously like you seem so well adjusted  
CG: YOU CAN THANK MY THERAPIST FOR HELPING ME. I HAD SOME PRETTY BAD BULLYING AS A KID. HE BECAME A MEMBER OF MY FAMILY, REALLY, ESPECIALLY WHEN DAD STARTED DATING AGAIN. BUT THAT FUCKED KANKRI UP MORE THAN IT DID ME.  
CG: HIS NAME’S CRAIG BUT I JUST CALL HIM CRABDAD.  
TG: holy shit  
TG: the names adorable  
TG: but man thats some pretty heavy shit  
CG: I DID KICK SOME ASSES THOUGH, SO IT WASN’T PERFECT.  
TG: yeah that doesnt surprise me  
TG: those big strong arms are perfect for swooning into i bet you couldve taken anyone  
CG: OH MY GOD, STOP IT YOU RIDICULOUS COOLDOUCHE.  
CG: NEPETA WON’T STOP GIGGLING AT ME DAMMIT.  
CG: I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.  
TG: very <3  
CG: DLAFH;SKLDA;JLKSDF  
TG: wait im one of your important people  


* * *

 

Rose flitted back and forth from her closet, to her vanity, to her phone on her nightstand, and back in a random pattern. It was one of the first times Dave had ever seen her so flustered. He cradled his steaming cup of coffee ever so delicately, even as the scent of mocha tried its hardest to wake him up. It was too fucking early for this. “Rose, I promise you, she’s gonna love whatever you wear.”

“She’s a fashion designer, Dave, she’s going to have a much more discerning eye than the average person.” She held up two skirts, one black and one lilac. “As little fashion sense as you have, I must ask your opinion.”

“I got impeccable fucking fashion, I’m just casual,” he mumbled through a yawn. “Go with the black skirt, and that light purple v-neck sweater. That way you can accessorize with that black choker, the one with the silver rose charm, and those hoop earrings you like.”

Rose nodded and tossed the purple skirt in the discard pile. “Yes, I believe you’re right.” With the outfit laid out on her bed she sat at her vanity and pulled her makeup out, before groaning and hiding her face in her hands. “What if I fuck this up, Dave?”

“Aw, Rosie…” He put the coffee down and sat down next to her with an arm around her shoulders. “Look, she’s going to adore you, even with your weird vampire bitey kinks. And you’re going to go on a bunch of dates with her, and get married and adopt a thousand kids to raise as an army hellbent on world domination, I know it.”

She snorted but smiled and leaned into the hug. “Thanks, Davie. You have _such_ a way with words.”

“From the up and coming writer, that’s a compliment.” He kissed her cheek and gave her one last squeeze. “So I’m gonna go play with Jaspers while you get dressed. Oh, I’m taking this.”

Rose raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

Dave grinned as he pocketed the small tube. “What better way to embarrass your partner?” She simply laughed in response.

* * *

 

Rose found herself hesitating in front of the Gutsy Gumshoe’s door. For all of the airs she put on, she still had plenty of insecurities. What if Kanaya was no longer interested? What if she decided that she was boring or what if--

“Rosie!” A flurry of pink-streaked blonde hair all but tackled her. “I didn’t expect to see you!”

“Hi, Roxy.” She returned her sister’s embrace with a small smile. “What do I owe this unexpected pleasure?”

Roxy bounced back and wrapped her arm around that of her companion, a short slender woman in a dark green suit that fit her perfectly. “Meet Callie! She’s my new neighbor, so I’m showing her around town!”

The woman flushed softly but managed an elegant bow with an offered hand. “Pleased to meet you. Roxy’s told me so much about you!”

Rose chuckled, taking in the silver-white hair, startling green eyes, and thick London accent. “I’m sure she has,” she replied while shaking hands. “I hate to cut this short, but I’m meeting a friend for breakfast, so…”

“Oh! Of course, we’ll leave you be. Roxy, luv, you said you wanted to introduce me to your friend Jane, correct?”

“Oh yeah! See ya, Rosie! Have fun!” Roxy dragged her startled companion into the cafe, Rose having no choice but to follow. Kanaya had said she’d be the one with a green scarf...ah, there she was, in all her glory. Long red skirt, adorable short hair with one curl just leaning against her cheek, oh god she was so gay.

The brunette looked up when Rose stopped at the table, and the smile she gave nearly knocked the blonde off her feet. “You must be the illustrious Rose Lalonde,” she said, rising in order to shake her hand.

The other flushed in surprise but smiled softly. “If anyone is illustrious it’s you, Miss Maryam. Becoming a protege of Sir Scratch is no small feat.”

“Oh, you’ve been keeping track?” Kanaya managed to hide most of her flustered state even as she beamed. “I suppose you’re right, but I also have the luck to have been in the right place at the right time.”

“Please, I adore your Nighttime Wanderings designs! They were so dark and intriguing, and yet oddly uplifting at the same time. My favorite dress design is your Underwater Mysteries one.”

Kanaya grinned. “You shall not only be the first order, but I’ll even make sure to hand deliver it to you as well.”

“Oh, you don’t have to!” Rose exclaimed. “I just want to have some of your clothes in my closet.”

Kanaya’s eyes glittered mischievously as she teased, “Why, Rose, we haven’t even had a dinner date and you already want my clothes in your place?”

Rose let out a startled laugh with a blush. “Not what I meant, though I certainly wouldn’t be opposed if circumstances led there…~”

It was Kanaya’s turn to blush even as she giggled. “Oh my, I better make sure to be prepared for anything. Who knows if I’ll have to hide with you from a deadly vampire attack?”

“Ah yes, fear their sparkled wrath.” The two burst into giggles, confusing Jane who was waiting with a coffee refill.

Roxy sighed from her table in the corner, chin in both hands. “Rosie looks so happy~ I think that chick’ll be good for her.”

Callie smiled and nodded. “I agree! I must say, even though I haven’t met many people yet, I love this city already.”

“I’m glad! Just you wait, Callie, you’re gonna love it here!”

* * *

 

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] -

TT: I’m home safe and sound.  
TG: oh sweet youre not a catfish victim  
TT: No, and you certainly know that better than anyone.  
TG: okay usually i can figure out your weird idiosyncracies and comments but this ones got me stumped what do i know better than anyone  
TT: You knew all along that Kanaya was Porrim’s sister.  
TG: oh shit cats out of the bag  
TT: The cat’s so far out of the bag that it’s already at the fish market, Dave.  
TG: aw come on sis if i told you that youd be mad at me for ruining the mystery  
TG: i know how much you love finding out shit and this is no exception  
TT: I hate how right you are.  
TG: lol love you too  
TG: so  
TG: spill  
TG: was it as good as you hoped  
TT: We have a dinner date next week. I think I’m in love already.

\- cardinalGift [CG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -

CG: I hear y9u have a 69yfriend n9w, c9ngratulati9ns.  
CG: OH GOD NOT THE TALK. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And once again, we have a new chapter! Took a little longer to finish this time but that's because I was a little unsure with writing out Kanaya and Porrim! But I think I did a good job here. I'm glad y'all are enjoying this! Every comment and kudo makes my day, especially with work currently being hell (fingers crossed for new job success!). So enjoy!
> 
> ALSO! The Faraday Files are in fact a real series! The books are wonderful, I really really recommend them. Great story, intriguing plot, and fantastic characters! You'll love it, I promise!


	8. Goldenrod, White Camellia, Yellow Tulip

TT: Hey, bro, I’ll be coming home this weekend. Everything’s been settled, except for a few things with your inheritance but that’s all on you now.   
TG: i told you bro i dont want his filthy cash burn it for all i care   
TT: I’m just thinking that you’d be able to actually sponsor your own dig if you wanted. His will had some bullshit clauses that I challenged and was able to get rid of, so you can use it however you want.   
TT: Hell, you could give it all to charity. Think of how pissed off he’d be if you donated it to an LGBTQ+ charity.   
TT: It’s just...I want you to be happy, and the cash may let you do what *does* make you happy.   
TG: i dunno man i just think id feel gross about it   
TG: but ill think about it promise   
TG: maybe ill start playing the stocks for real   
TT: Hell yeah, invest that shit and make billions. I know a guy who can help out.   
TG: sweet thanks   
TG: whens your flight   
TT: I’ll send you the information in a bit. Shouldn’t you be in bed?   
TG: shouldnt you be sucking dick   
TT: That’s tomorrow. And isn’t that your job?   
TG: fuck rose told you didnt she   
TG: i was waiting for you to get home before introducing karkat to everyone   
TG: well except mom but idk when shes coming home   
TT: Yeah, last I heard she was still overseas, France I think. I’m glad she’s enjoying herself, she deserves it. She always did want to go backpacking through Europe.   
TG: ten bucks says she comes home married lol   
TT: No bet.

Dave sighed as he let his phone drop on the pillow next to his head. Fuck. He wanted to eradicate Dain’s presence from his life, and had almost succeeded! But now he had to give him one last fuck you from beyond the grave with a ridiculous inheritance. Everything that could be sold had been, but now what? It was a ridiculous amount of money for _anyone_ to have, let alone a tattoo artist/archaeology hopeful. On the one hand, he’d be happy to get rid of it all without a care. On the other, it could be hugely beneficial. And he’d be able to spoil his friends and family…

He sat up in bed, hands folded in front of his mouth and elbows leaning on bent knees. Dain had tried to keep him from the world outside, made him paranoid for a long time. And stealing him from his family when he was a baby? That shit was unforgivable. He wanted him dependent on him and him alone. The asshole had almost been successful, but thankfully he had been found. Now with him dead, he was free...but what should he do now?

\- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -

TG: hey you awake   
TG: idk if your computers just on or if youre actually still up but i just need to talk or maybe ramble   
CG: I’M HERE. WHAT’S UP?   
TG: oh shit youre actually awake why   
CG: INSOMNIA’S A BITCH. BUT WHAT DO YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT? IS EVERYTHING OKAY?   
TG: well   
TG: ok well theres some background i gotta tell first before we get into the whole shebang   
TG: so dirk and roxy are twins too and three years older than me and rose but our parents had this whole awful sordid history and long story short mom left our douche of a dad   
TG: things happened and they slept together again before separating and thats how me and rose were made   
TG: and then he found out that we were born and he went and kidnapped me   
CG: HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK?!   
TG: yeah so he “raised” me as his little bro until i was twelve when i met rose online   
TG: next thing i know im meeting a whole bunch of people who say theyre my family and im being swept to new york while hes being arrested and shit   
CG: DEAR GOD ALMIGHTY. ARE YOU OKAY?   
TG: for the most part yeah it was over a decade ago   
TG: its just that he died recently and its been on my mind especially since he left everything to me so surprise im now a millionaire but i dont know if i even want the money   
TG: he used to make puppet porn and im almost positive i ended up featured in weird snuff shit or something   
TG: therapys helped a shitton and i got drowned in love from my family   
TG: i just dont know what to do with the cash   
TG: you still there   
TG: i didnt scare you away did i   
TG: fuck i bet i did i probably ruined this whole thing im sorry   
CG: NO, I’M HERE!   
CG: SORRY, I HAD TO LET POUNCE INSIDE.   
CG: BEFORE YOU ASK HE’S OUR CAT, POUNCE DE LEON. ALSO KNOWN AS THE POUNCELLOR. I CALL HIM PAIN IN THE ASS.   
CG: YOU DIDN’T RUIN ANYTHING, I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE ANY TIME SOON. I’M JUST MAD THE FESTERING WASTE OF SPACE IS DEAD BECAUSE THAT MEANS I CAN’T KILL HIM MYSELF.   
TG: heh you sound like dirk   
TG: but yeah thats why i had that nightmare when you stayed the night   
TG: and i still cant figure out what to do with everything it feels almost dirty and tainted   
TG: i mean its not but it feels like it by sheer association alone   
CG: IT SOUNDS TRICKY. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS?   
TG: he died last month there were legal issues and shit to do so dirk went down to handle it as my legal representative   
CG: HMMM.   
TG: what   
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE THE BEST WAY TO USE IT?   
CG: TAKE THAT MONEY, AND DO WHATEVER YOU FUCKING WANT WITH IT.   
CG: THAT DISGUSTINGLY HEINOUS SHITSTAIN DID EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO KEEP YOU FROM HAPPINESS, SO USE WHAT HE LEFT YOU TO PURSUE THE MOST GLORIOUS JOY YOU CAN MUSTER.   
CG: BE IT MOVIES, PARTIES, TRAVELING, WHATEVER! DON’T GIVE THE SNIVELING PATHETIC EXCUSE OF HUMANITY THE SATISFACTION OF CONTINUING TO MAKE YOU MISERABLE.   
CG: BE HAPPY, THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO.   
CG: ARE YOU THERE STILL?   
TG: yeah man im still here   
TG: sorry had some feels in my eye   
TG: seriously though thank you karkat   
TG: it really helped a lot   
CG: ANY TIME, DAVE.   
CG: GET SOME SLEEP, IT’S LATE.   
TG: i should be saying that to you   
CG: I’LL BE ASLEEP SHORTLY, I PROMISE.   
CG: SWEET DREAMS. <3   
TG: you too <3

\- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -

Dave sniffled a bit and wiped his eyes, curling up under the covers with a small smile. It still hurt, but he did feel a little lighter. Dain had hated Mom in the end, and the rest of his family. He liked the idea of spoiling them, but maybe save some of it for himself to use and some of it could be put into investments, and then go from there...donate to charity too...maybe go on vacation with Karkat...yeah. That sounded nice.

* * *

 

Dave tucked his phone away and knocked on the door to 69 Sanguine Boulevard. He could almost feel his wallet burning with the accepted influx of cash from Dain’s demise. Now he could finally upgrade his old car to something much nicer! But for now, he was going to spoil Karkat at the fair.

The door opened to reveal a man who looked almost exactly like Karkat, but with silver streaking the brown-black hair, laugh lines, and the scruff combined with glasses made him look like a rugged college professor. “Hello, you must be Dave,” Professor Hotstuff said with a smile. “I’m Karkat’s dad, Siglas.”

“I guess he’s mentioned me?” Dave asked with a smile as they shook hands. Siglas laughed and nodded, ushering him inside. The younger man looked around curiously, taking in the numerous pictures of children at different ages hanging on the wall. One particular group photo caught his eye. “Wow. That’s, uh, that’s one hell of a family photo.”

Siglas grinned as he looked at the summer picnic. “Yes, well, the four of us--Saelec, Myrosa, Disele, and myself--met when Myrosa and I came to New York.” He tapped on the adults in question: a slightly older woman that Dave recognized from Porrim’s pictures, a Korean man a little younger than Siglas wearing what looked like stupidly oversized 3D glasses that matched his sons’ equally silly sunglasses, and a black woman whose hair threatened to engulf Siglas and another woman as she hugged them. “Myrosa had left her husband in Iran before coming here and was pregnant with Kanaya. Cecelia and I had left Turkey due to violence in our town, and she was pregnant with Karkat. We met Saelec when he came to help us with all of our electricity and computer set up--he’s an electrician and our house had to be completely rewired. Disele met Cecelia at a birthing class. They were actually best friends before Cece passed.”

Dave’s eyebrows went high over his shades. “They were? But Disele, that’s your uh...new wife I guess would be the word?”

“I’m sure you’re judging me,” Siglas commented, though he was amused rather than annoyed. “But it wasn’t an instant thing, either. It took me until Karkat was ten to even start dating again, and that was about six years after she passed. After some spectacular failures at dating, Disele and I just...gravitated toward each other.”

“I called it, by the way.” Karkat trotted down the stairs and Dave was so glad his shades hid how he was staring at the other’s legs. Fuck, did Karkat paint those on? “We’ll probably be back after supper.”

“Oh, really? No lamb kebabs?”

“We’ll see,” Karkat laughed with a hug. “I’ll text and let you know, okay? Oh, and tell Nepeta when she gets home I need my boxers back, Pounce won’t let me into his hoard so I can grab them.”

“I’ll try to get them back too, but if not I’ll let her know. Have fun!” Siglas waited until the two were halfway down the walk before adding a cheeky, “Don’t forget to use protection!”

Karkat stumbled with a squawk and turned to yell at his dad, but he had already closed the door. He groaned and ran a hand down his pinking face. “Sorry for that. Fucking hell, Dad…”

Dave patted his shoulder soothingly even with his own pink cheeks. “It’s alright, man, parents live to embarrass us. I’m dreading the day you meet Mom, she’s gonna flip over how fucking cute you are.” He sneaked a kiss to Karkat’s now-red cheek before hurrying to the driver’s side. “Come on, babe, the fair awaits!”

“I’m coming!” A mildly flustered Karkat climbed into the car as well, even though he was trying and failing to hide his smile.

Dave gestured to the radio once they were on the road. “Passenger gets control of the radio, so long as it isn’t shitty autotune pop crap.”

Karkat snorted slightly. “Hey, some of it’s just fun. Ke$ha’s good.”

“For dancing and shit, yeah, but--aw, man, come the fuck on, I thought you were joking with eighties music!”

Karkat simply grinned as the intro music continued. “ _Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world! She took the midnight train going anywhere~_ ”

Wow, his voice was smooth. A nice alto tenor. Not to be outdone Dave shot him a look over his shades and a grin. “ _Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit! He took the midnight train going anywhere!”_

“Ha, you do like it!”

“Hey, what can I say, Journey’s a classic!” Dave confessed between giggles. “It’s one band I can’t deny, now shut up so we can keep singing.”

Karkat laughed merrily, eyes bright in the midmorning sun. Once the words started back up the two sang together (Dave of course being over the top which only made Karkat crack up even more), and Karkat carefully rested his hand over Dave’s on the gear shift. To his pleasure he lifted his hand and entwined their fingers together. In between songs they bickered lightly over music--Karkat staunchly insisting that love songs were the fucking best, Dave scoffing at them for being corny as hell, but both agreeing that almost all were far too hetero. By the time they pulled into the fair’s parking lot--or what consisted as one for now when it was normally a field--Dave was finishing his rant on how boring pop music was, it was the same formula every time, 4/4 measures, 2 verses, a chorus, nothing new! Before climbing out Karkat leaned over to kiss Dave when he had taken a breath. “As brilliant and fascinating as this is, can we wait to continue it later?”

The kiss pulled Dave out of his musical focus and he nodded, eyes foggy with bliss for the briefest moments before he briskly pushed the shades back up. “Yeah, sure. But be prepared to sit through a full-blown lecture on how to create the sickest beats ever,” he added while climbing out. “Only way to shut me up’s if you pay me eight-k bucks.”

“Can I pay you in kisses instead, you meme-loving fucker?”

Dave grinned as his legs brought him in front of his boyfriend who was trying his hardest not to smile, leaning in to sneak a quick kiss. “1 down, 7,999 to go.” Karkat ducked his head with an almost shy smile, which broke into laughter when Dave started kissing across his cheeks. “Those don’t count!”

When Karkat looked up Dave was jogging backwards away with a shit-eating grin. “Oh, you cretinous obnoxious trickster!”

“Oh please, you--oh shit!” Dave had to scramble to keep himself from falling in his frantic attempt to turn around and run properly considering Karkat was about to tackle him. They made quite the sight as they ran into the fairgrounds. Dave ducked around a tent and when Karkat turned the corner he grabbed him. Momentum almost flung them both on the ground, but they managed to keep their footing. “Aw, babe, falling for me?”

“You’re so fucking corny,” Karkat snickered, hands resting on Dave’s biceps. “Come on, you dork, let’s walk around.”

“Please, the dorkiest person we know is John,” Dave quipped, taking Karkat’s hand as they started wandering.

“Mm, true.” The two of them took their time wandering around the various tents filled with different wares. They were fairly typical, some with different clothes that you’d normally find at any normal store, others with jewelry, a few with candles, one that was just the most ridiculous hats ever created (many selfies were taken during their exploration of that tent), and in another they were really interested in the homemade leather goods offered.

Even though they didn’t buy anything just yet, Dave made sure to take note of everything Karkat looked at that was more than a cursory glance. Still, he was curious. “You’re not buying anything?”

“Not now. Maybe when we come back through, but I only have so much cash. Gotta make sure I can eat,” he added, looking at the zodiac necklaces in one display.

Dave sidled over to look. “What’s your sign?”

“Cancer. My birthday’s July second, though it was supposed to be June twelfth.” Karkat straightened up to ease the crick in his back from bending over the table for so long. “Doctors messed up the whole due date shit. Yours?”

“Sagittarius, my birthday’s December 3rd. I’m a centaur, which is pretty cool.” Dave snickered. “And you’re _crabby_.”

“Oh my god, I’m done. Nope, we’re through.”

“Awww, baaaaabe~” Dave draped himself over Karkat’s back and was partially dragged as Karkat kept walking. “Please, you love me~”

Karkat was glad Dave couldn’t see his cheeks turn bright red at the sudden comment. “W-we’re not quite there yet.”

Dave flushed suddenly, but he still attempted to keep his super cool facade up. “So we’re on our way there?” His hopeful tone that leaked out betrayed his lack of cool.

Karkat chuckled and unlatched Dave’s hands from around him. “We’ll see. Wanna try some rigged games?”

“Sure, I’m gonna win you something. I have mean hand-eye coordination.” Karkat looked like he wanted to say something particularly crass but the presence of minors convinced him otherwise. Dave spotted a booth he knew well and tugged Karkat along. “Ok, with these there’s usually a trick. See the milk bottles stacked up?”

“Yeah?”

“Most people aim for the middle bottle in the bottom row, thinking that it’ll knock them all over. Thing is, they’re always filled with weight. I’ve done this enough times though that I know exactly how to knock this shit down. Now, watch and learn.” The blond sauntered up to the booth and paid for the three balls. Karkat simply stood off to the side, hands in pockets and an unimpressed look on his face. Dave paused for a moment and offered the ball to him. “Kiss for luck?”

“Oh my god, you _nerd_.” After a few insistent moments and a few eyebrow waggles the brunet gave in and dropped a swift peck before looking away with a grumpy, slightly embarrassed pout. Dave grinned, wound up, and threw.

_THWACK!_

The blur collided perfectly with a bottom bottle, sending it and two others down. The second threw took the last three down. Karkat’s jaw bounced off the ground as a smug Dave picked out an oversized plush crab from a stunned booth worker. “Told ya.”

“Holy shit.” Karkat accepted the crab after a few moments with a laugh. “That was pretty freaking impressive.”

Dave gave a ridiculous bow. “My pleasure, good sir. Where to next?”

Karkat looked around before grinning. “Let’s try that one.”

“Which one--oh no.”

“Oh, yes.”

“My arms are noodles!”

“If you can throw a ball you can lift a hammer!” It was the brunet’s turn to drag Dave to where a stupidly chiseled bulked-up man was enticing people to hit the bell for a prize. Dave however refused to try. Karkat simply shrugged and handed him the plush and his coat. The blond took the time to ogle his shoulders as he accepted the sledgehammer after paying. After settling into a proper stance and adjusting his grip, he swung.

_DING!_

“Congratulations! Pick your prize!”

“Not bad, not bad, but I bet bunny boy can do better!”

Karkat turned to face the speaker, eyebrows hitting his hairline as he picked out a ridiculous crow plush. “Didn’t expect to see you here, spiderbitch.”

“Same for you, shouty.” Even so, Vriska returned the casual fist bump Karkat offered. “And before you ask, John got the day off so we decided to make a date of it!”

“Hi Dave!” The man in question had no time to brace himself before being tacklehugged to the ground by a blue blur. There were plenty of snickers all around. “What’re you doing here?”

“What do ya mean, what’m I doin’ here? Can’t a guy enjoy a fair without any interrogation?” Dave drawled as John helped him up, fixing his glasses.

John snickered, his grin making his baby blues crinkle. “Yeah, but I didn’t know you knew Karkat!”

“Who do ya think helped me with the fuck you bouquet?” Dave snarked back.

John gasped and gripped his hoodie over his heart. “Karkat, I’m wounded! Why would you do such a terrible thing?”

“After that prank, you deserved it,” Karkat said primly with a smug grin. “Taking a break from being a courier bunny?”

“It’s TaskRabbit, thank you very much! And yeah, for the day. So yeah! What’re you two up to? Just hanging out? Ooooor is it something more~?” he teased, giving Karkat’s cheek a poke.

The flustered man smacked his hand away. “Oh my god, shut _up_ John. And don’t you say anything either, spiderbitch!” he snapped to the cackling brunette.

Dave sidled over and flung his free arm around Karkat’s shoulders. “Yeah, we’re on a date too,” he said. The calm tone of his voice didn’t match the blush that was immediately painted over his cheeks. “We started dating a while back, didn’t you see the Facebook update?”

John had the decency to look sheepish. “I forgot my password.” Karkat facepalmed while Dave’s face immediately went deadpan, and Vriska just gave a helpless shrug as in _he’s lucky he’s cute_. “But still! I’m really glad for you two, you make a cute couple.”

“Whoa, bro, I love you man but you and I both know that Striders don’t do the cute thing. If anyone’s the cute person it’s Karkat here.”

“What’re you doing dragging me into this?!” Karkat fielded Dave away with the plush crow when he tried to swoop him into a hug with whines at how he was the cuter one. “Anyway, weren’t you gonna show off or something?”

“Yeah, come on John! Show us what you can do!” Vriska cheered with a shiny metal fist pump. The Brit leaned back against the fence as John went up with a bit more goading from Dave. She rolled her eye over to look at Karkat, her face softening a bit. “You look like you’re doing good though, Karkat. Things agreeing with you?”

The Turk nodded. “Yeah. Things are going pretty well. You look better than I last saw you, actually.”

“Heh, yeah, but honestly I gotta thank you for it. If you hadn’t recommended Craig to me, I’d be a fucking awful narcissistic psychopathic bitch who’d have probably died from doing stupid shit. Even getting my arm torn off wasn’t enough to stop me,” she added, looking down toward the ground. “And I never actually told you this, but...thanks. For everything.”

Karkat’s face softened, and he reached over to pat her good shoulder. “Hey, it wasn’t all your fault. You were in a shitty situation which caused you to develop some really bad shit in your head.”

“Yeah, but I could’ve done a lot better at controlling it. But instead I just went and embraced it like a goddamn idiot,” she countered. “Needed a good asskicking, let’s be real,” she added, snickering with him. “So, yeah. Thanks.”

“No problem.”

_DING!_

“Dude, you just fucking knocked the bell off.”

“Oh god I didn’t mean to do that!”

* * *

 

“Oh shit, Karkat, they’re doing fucking fireworks tonight!”

“Damn, they are? What for?”

“Celebrating the Fall Equinox, according to the sign.” Dave adjusted his ridiculous red top hat that he bought on a whim, which somehow managed to look both stupid and oddly endearing. “You know what that means, right?”

Karkat quirked an eyebrow. “What?”

“We have to go on the Ferris wheel,” he replied. “But before I do that, I’ll take the plushes to the car, ok?” He took both the crab and crow plush and placed a kiss to his cheek. “Be right back, babe.”

“You’re ridiculous.” The fond smile on his face told just how much he really did like the pet names that Dave kept coming up with. He was fine with waiting anyway. Except for the sudden devilish look that John was pinning to him now that Dave was gone. “What?”

“You guys are too freaking cute you know that?” John teased. He propped his chin in his hands, eyes sparkling eagerly. “Come oooooooon, spill the deets! How long have you been dating? What was the first date? Have you two kissed yet~?”

“There were 8 os there, I could hear them all,” Karkat snapped, his words lacking heat due to the fact that his cheeks held it all. “To answer your questions, you nosy bastard, we've been dating for a little over a month now, our first date was brunch at the Gutsy Gumshoe, and whether or not we kissed is none of your fucking beeswax.”

Vriska pouted and leaned in. “Oh please, shouty, there’s gotta be more! You’re a huge damn romantic, I bet you did something like dancing to the radio and dipping him.”

“No, nothing like that! It was just, well, a pretty good way of shutting him up,” he confessed. The coos from the other two had him throwing bits of kettle corn at them. “Shut your half-wit pieholes! It’s not meant to be cute.”

“Karkat, admit it, you’re pretty cute. No homo.” John blocked the kettle corn from both Karkat and Vriska this time, laughing. “Yeah, okay, I deserved that one!”

“You’re fucking terrible,” Karkat groused before he checked his phone. “Where the fuck did he go anyway?”

(“Oh, and these candles too.”

“Sir, are you sure about all this?”

“I have never been more sure about anything else, man. Except that aj is the shit.”)

John shrugged. “Probably got distracted by birds. If you two stay together you can totally get him like a pair of lovebirds!”

“John, don’t say if!” Vriska hissed. “Not cool!”

“Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to say you won’t last! Just that if you’re together a long time, you know?” John exclaimed with frantic motions of his hands. “Like, you’ll probably get married, have an apartment, definitely not gonna break up, no sir!”

“Go ahead, keep digging,” Karkat commented drily. “Let’s see how deep you go.” Vriska facepalmed.

John at least had the decency to look very sheepish. “I’ll stop. Oh! I did have something to ask actually! There's gonna be a battle of the bands thing hosted at the club Dave works at! We just need lead vocals, and you have a really great voice, so…?”

Karkat blinked a few times. “Wait, you want _me_ to sing?”

Both John and Vriska nodded. “I'm drums, he's keyboard, and we got Jade on bass and Aradia for guitar and Sollux doing all the fancy synthesizer stuff!” the brunette said excitedly. “Terezi has to work and well, her voice is a bit too scratchy.”

“Point,” Karkat conceded thoughtfully. He tapped his fingers against the table a few times. “When do you need an answer by?”

“Next weekend,” John said. He clasped his hands and gave him a pout with his eyes wide and blue and even a few fake tears were at the corner of his eyes. “Pleeeeaaaase?”

“Oh my god get those away from me, those are nukes!” Karkat felt his willpower crumble, damn it why are all his friends cute and hot. “Fine, I'll help. But on one condition.”

Vriska raised an eyebrow. “Name it.”

“We don't tell Dave that I'm participating,” he said with a sly grin. “I want it to be a surprise.”

“Hell yeah.” John high fived him with an eager grin. “I'll add you to our group chat and we can start picking out songs!”

“What're you calling the group?” Vriska asked.

John beamed proudly. “National Treasure.”

Dave returned just in time to see Karkat and Vriska both toss handfuls of kettle corn at John’s face. One thin eyebrow slid upwards. “John, what'd you do?”

“Oh, nothing.” John offered an innocent smile. “Just a bit of foot in mouth syndrome, like a typical Strider.”

“Ouch, bro, you wound me. I can tell you right now I’ve gotten better.”

“He’s lying, don’t believe him,” John stage whispered, to which Karkat snorted in amusement. “The cool guy schtick is an act.”

“Oh, don’t I know it. He’s lucky he’s cute. What took you so long?”

“I decided to grab Rose some candles and incense on the way back.” Dave pulled something out from behind his back and dropped it on Karkat’s head. “And this.”

“What--holy shit, _Dave_!” Karkat pulled the leather newsboy hat off his head to look at it with wide eyes. “This thing cost like 50 bucks!”

Dave grinned and teased, “You told me to do what makes me happy with my new cash flow, and I like spoiling friends and family.”

Karkat blushed while John bawwed. “Hey, where’s my hat?”

“Right here.”

Vriska howled in hysterics at the oversized rabbit ears sticking up from the ridiculous purple hat’s brim. Karkat lost it so hard he almost fell off the table bench. John simply scoffed and pretend to flip a luxurious mane off his shoulder. “Whatever, you’re just jealous of my beauty.”

“Sure we are, bunny boy,” Vriska managed between cackles. “Come on, let’s go on a couple more rides! We’ll see you two later!”

“Yeah, let’s do another double date soon!”

The two males waved as Vriska dragged John off, and they shared a few moments of quiet as the sky continued to darken. After another beat Dave spoke. “So, wanna walk around some more?”

“Yeah, sure.” Their hands laced together automatically as they started to wander the grounds. The eagerness from before was gone, replaced with quiet enjoyment of each other’s presence. Every so often Karkat would reach up and fiddle with the hat’s brim. It made Dave smile every time.

Soon enough it was sufficiently dark enough that an announcement was made over aged crackling speakers that the fireworks would be starting soon. Dave grinned at Karkat with a playful eyebrow wiggle. “Ferris wheel?”

Karkat returned the grin. “Hell yes.”

“Hell fucking yes.” The two dashed off to the ride, Dave almost losing the top hat but managing to hold onto it. Thankfully they managed to get on a basket before it was cut off. It wasn’t until they were a little ways off the ground as others climbed on that Dave rather shyly nestled against Karkat.

Surprised yet pleased, Karkat wrapped an arm around Dave’s waist and gave him a little squeeze. “Having fun?”

“Duh. I’m with you, how could I not have fun?” he teased. “What about you?”

“Of fucking course. I didn't even know this place even had a fair.”

“Yeah, the city is pretty weird. You have the really super urban center where Dirk has the club, this small strip of suburbia around it, and then rural farms all around it. It's pretty crazy.” Dave shrugged a bit and grinned. “But hey, Dirk opened the first club since the city hit its building boom, so he's just been raking the dough in ever since.”

“Oh, well, aren’t we all rich and famous now,” Karkat snarked back. He was still smiling though as they both leaned back in their seats. “So, speaking of being rich now...what’re you gonna do?”

Dave shrugged a bit. “Dirk said he knows someone I can talk to, so I may start investing in some stocks. I probably could just stop working forever, but I don’t wanna do that. So I’m gonna start divvying it up, some set aside for my own bills and shit, some for spoiling you and our friends and family, and a shitton for charity. And my own dig,” he added with a proud grin. “I’m gonna ask Aradia for help contacting someone so I can excavate again. I’ve missed it!”

Karkat nodded in agreement, smiling. “That sounds fucking amazing. I’m glad you’re using that to be happy.”

The blond was about to speak when the Ferris wheel started to properly move, right when the fireworks began. His attention was immediately diverted and he grabbed Karkat’s arm excitedly. “Oh man, look! The colors are fucking amazing!”

They were, but Karkat wasn’t looking at the fireworks. He was focused on the bright relaxed smile on Dave’s face, the way the colors played across his face and the sparkling red eyes he could see from the side profile. “Yeah...amazing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gods I am so sorry this took so long! There was the end of school, I graduated, and I've also been having some hand issues but physical therapy is helping!
> 
> So yes, we finally get to see John and Vriska! Appropriate considering what number chapter we're on. In this fic, nobody is by any means prfect, but I do try to take on a slightly more realistic approach and not full-blown aliens. Also, I like to consider this incarnation of Vriska as similar to (Vriska) in the comic as in the one who actually grew and changed.
> 
> Thank y'all for reading, and please leave comments! They give me inspiration and the passion and energy to continue writing! Thank you!


	9. Solomon's Seal, Oats Flower, Bilberry

\- ghostyTrickster [GT] added carcinoGeneticist [CG] to group chat “we’re going to steal the declaration of independence” -

CG: REALLY? REALLY JOHN?  
GT: don’t hate on the name, it’s awesome!  
AG: John, I love you, but it’s laaaaaaaame.  
TA: hey kk.  
CG: HEY SOLLUX. WHAT’S UP?  
TA: not much, ju2t doiing the u2ual. codiing for the ma22e2 and keepiing my2elf from kiilliing 2tupiid people iin cu2tomer 2erviice. you?  
CG: THANKING ALL DEITIES EVER WORSHIPPED THAT WEDDING SEASON IS ALMOST DONE. DON’T TELL ME YOU USE THAT QUIRK AT WORK EVEN IF YOU DID REDUCE ALL THE TWO PUNS.  
TA: eheh, man ii WII2H. iit’d pii22 off my a22hole bo22 2o much iit would be worth gettiing fiired for iit. but ii’m waiitiing on heariing back from a company before ii quit. fuck be2t buy.  
AA: awww d0nt w0rry s0llux!! y0ull hear back s00n, theyd be idi0ts n0t t0 hire such an elite haxx0r! and hi karkat!  
CG: OH HEY! HOW’S THAT EXCAVATION GOING?  
AA: im alm0st d0ne actually f0r the seas0n! s0 ill be c0ming h0me f0r the h0lidays in tw0 weeks. itll be really nice t0 see every0ne again! and just in time t0 sp0il my fav0rite buzz b0y.  
TA: ii have ONE BEE PHA2E and ii never liive iit down.  
CG: NOPE. YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH THAT SHAME FOREVER.  
GT: is jade still at work karkat?  
CG: YEAH, SHE WAS FINISHING UP A COUPLE MORE BUCKETS. AT LEAST WE’LL HAVE A LITTLE BREAK BEFORE THE HOLIDAY SEASON WHEN EVERYONE WANTS POINSETTIAS AND CHRISTMAS ROSES AND ALL THAT SHIT.  
GT: okay, that’s no problem! we gotta figure out the right kind of sound we want for this contest.  
CG: WHAT EVEN IS THE PRIZE?  
AG: First prize is a year-long contract with Timaeus Turned to play there! Second prize is half a year. 8oth those and third prize are cash 8ut you know, first prize gets more and so on. 8ut it’s still gonna 8e fun!  
AA: and y0u have a great v0ice t00 karkat! i think y0ud s0und great f0r hard r0ck s0ngs  
TA: aa’2 got a poiint there. you have a 2trong kind of gravelly voiice and you’d be great for 2omethiing rough.  
CG: I GUESS.  
CG: AT LEAST IT’S PRETTY DEEP NOW. I’M GLAD FOR THAT AT LEAST.  
CG: ANY IDEAS?  
GT: bon jovi?  
AG: We could do How Do I Live!  
CG: NO!  
AA: n0  
TA: no.  
AG: Wow 8k then!  
GT: awwww i like that song!  
CG: SAVE IT FOR YOUR WEDDING DANCE. LET’S THINK OF GENRE FIRST AND THEN GO FROM THERE.  
TA: ii refu2e to do anythiing remotely liike taylor 2wiift.  
AA: ew n0 shes b0ring  
AA: we sh0uld d0 s0mething with s0me real 00mph! s0ngs with energy and real em0ti0ns!  
GG: hey guys im here!!  
AA: hey jade!  
CG: GODDAMMIT I LEFT WORK TO GET AWAY FROM YOU.  
GG: oh poo on you! :P  
GG: so no ideas yet huh? i havent really come up with any myself but i dont think we should do anything like pop!  
TA: yeah no that’2 not exactly the riight 2ound for the club.  
CG: I WENT IN THERE ONCE TO CHECK IT OUT. SOMETIMES THEY PLAY POP SONGS BUT IT’S LIKE THE TOP FORTY SHIT ON THE RADIO AND STUFF. GOTTA CATER TO THE MASSES, I GUESS.  
AG: MCR then?  
AA: just hit the first g n0te and y0ull summ0n all the f0rmer em0s!  
CG: EH, MAYBE.  
GT: fall out boy?  
GG: panic at the disco?  
AG: Taking 8ack Sunday?  
GG: paramore?  
GT: blink 182?  
TA: are we ju2t namiing emo-punk band2 now?  
AA: what ab0ut pierce the veil 0r avenged sevenf0ld?  
CG: ARADIA WHAT THE FUCK? I DIDN'T THINK YOU LISTENED TO SCREAMO.  
AA: its g00d f0r w0rk0uts! 0u0  
TA: and 2he had a pha2e. remember when 2he dyed her haiir liike the mo2t garii2h red?  
AA: sh00sh!  
GG: oooh i have pandora playing right now and its a mix of a few bands and lindsey stirlings shatter me just started playing! i like the singers voice i think her name is lizzy hale  
AG: Oh yeah!!!!!!!! She has a 8and actually! H8lestorm is the 8om8!!!!!!!!  
AA: 00h that c0uld w0rk really well!  
TA: kk, can you 2iing tho2e 2ongs?  
CG: MAYBE. LET ME LOOK UP THEIR MUSIC AND I’LL LET YOU KNOW. HOW LONG DO WE HAVE UNTIL THE BATTLE?  
GT: it’s split up so that the first battles are on october twenty fourth, but the final battle is gonna be on october thirty first!  
AA: hall0ween!! :D  
AG: Aw hell yes!!!!!!!! We can go all out with spooky costumes and stuff!  
GG: oh man that would be awesome! we could do maybe some kind of like classic halloween outfit theme! and sollux can be a zombee  
AG: 8oooooooo!  
GT: boooooooo!  
TA: wow FUCK ii walked iinto that one.  
AA: hahahaha 0h g0d thats great! high five!  
GG: *high five*  
AA: *high five*  
CG: I AM SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS.  
GG: oh shoosh! :p you love us  
CG: I THINK I CAN SING THIS ACTUALLY. WHERE WOULD YOU GET THE SHEET MUSIC TO LEARN HOW THOUGH?  
TA: hello?? eliite haxxor here. ii can get iit ea2ier than piickiing flower2.  
TA: and ii mean wiildflower2 not what you and jd do.  
GG: the recognitions appreciated!  
CG: NOW, THE QUESTION IS, WHAT SONGS SHOULD WE WORK ON? I’M LISTENING TO A PLAYLIST AND I REALLY LIKE “AMEN.”  
GG: oooh i like that one too! its a really good song  
GT: i’m not really good with picking songs since i like really all of them! maybe you can just suggest songs and i can agree or disagree?  
AG: Awwwwwwww, you can pick songs!  
GT: well, how about daughters of darkness?  
CG: I’M NOT A DAUGHTER OF ANYTHING, EGBERT.  
GT: oh right, yeah, that wouldn’t work since you’re singing it and not lizzy hale.  
AG: 8kay, yeah, we’ll just have you say yes or no.  
GT: i told you i’m bad at this! D:  
AA: 0h i kn0w! i am the fire! that 0ne really w0uld suit y0u!  
TA: hey yeah, 2he’2 riight about that. iit’2 a good 2ong about beiing what you’re lookiing for.  
CG: YEAH, I LIKE THAT ONE TOO. SO WE HAVE TWO SONGS NOW. I GOTTA SAY, I AM *REALLY* LOVING MS. HYDE, AND THIS ONE IS EASY TO ADJUST FOR MY PRONOUNS TOO.  
AG: Hahahaha, we could do a thing with making the lights go out during that “put on the 8lindfold” part and then you can sneak up on Strider!  
CG: OOOOH, THAT’S DEVIOUS.  
CG: I LOVE IT.  
CG: WAIT HE’S NOT JUDGING RIGHT?  
GT: nope! he’s just hosting, he isn’t being a judge  
GG: good because he isnt very good at being impartial when friends are involved haha!!  
GG: so theres amen, i am the fire, and mz hyde, or mr hyde in this case ;D  
GG: we should think of oooone more though! too bad we cant have rose playing violin or we could do shatter me lol  
GT: man lindsey stirling is amazing at violin!  
AG: I’d let her dance on me.  
AA: hard same  
TA: gaaaaaaaay  
AA: s0llux we sc0pe 0ut h0t pe0ple t0gether, were b0th gay as hell  
TA: haha ii know, ii’m ju2t giiviing you a hard tiime  
AA: :P  
CG: I JUST FINISHED LISTENING TO INNOCENCE, AND I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS SONG. I DON’T KNOW WHY, BUT IT JUST...IT FEELS RIGHT, YOU KNOW?  
GG: oooh man that ones pretty intense!!  
AA: 0h i L0VE that s0ng! yes yes yes can we d0 this 0ne t00?  
GT: definitely! we should figure out the lineup though. i’m thinking first one mr. hyde to really get their attention, second one innocence, third i am the fire and end the lineup with amen if we make it to the final round?  
AG: I’m game!  
CG: SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.  
AA: yes!  
TA: ii’ll get the sheet musiic to everyone toniight, hackiing now.  
GG: cool~! now that the important stuff is out of the way i have new bec pictures!!  
AA: i am always 0pen t0 pupper pictures  
CG: IS HE UP A TREE AGAIN?  
GG: not quite  
GG: hes on a car this time  
AG: 8h my g8d.  
GT: you have the weirdest dog  
TA: can ii get an amen?

* * *

 

“Alright, McClain, McClain...yep, you have a family account. What kind of bouquet are you looking for then?”

“It’s a birthday bouquet for my mom! It just has to make sure it shows affection, and…” The Latino man in front of him looked at the piece of paper he pulled out of his pocket. “Peach roses, they’re her favorite. You guys have peach roses?”

Karkat resisted the urge to roll his eyes but instead gave a pretty good fake smile. “Yeah, we can get pretty much any plants. Jade’s greenhouses are filled with some pretty crazy plants.”

“That’s awesome! But you know, the prettiest flower of them all is right in front of me~” He even winked with a grin.

The brunet was completely deadpan. “I have a boyfriend.”

The flirtatious air dissipated immediately as the other leaned forward with a happy grin. “Oh really? How’d you meet? Is he cute?”

“Holy shit, that’s a hell of a 180!”

“Hey, I respect anyone in a relationship, and honestly I’m just a hardcore romantic and I love hearing about people’s happiness. Oh! I’m Lance by the way!”

“...Karkat.” He couldn’t help but smile a bit at how cheerful Lance was as they shook hands. His high spirits were contagious. “And he came in asking for a fuck you bouquet because a friend of ours had pranked him, gave me his business card with both cell number and pesterchum handle. Then we just, hit it off.”

“Awww~ that's adorable,” Lance cooed. “I hope you two stay together. That bouquet sounds fantastic though, I may order one in the future for a friend slash rival of mine,” he added with a sneaky smirk.

Karkat snickered. “I told Jade they'd be a hit. But for now let's talk about the one for your mom, get that all settled.”

To Karkat’s surprise and pleasure, Lance was highly interested in floriography. His questions were intelligent and he had a strong eye for color. When asked he waved it off with a laugh. “I’m a fashion major, I have to know color and composition!”

In time the appropriate flowers were chosen and Karkat had the order set up. “The confirmation email has been automatically sent,” he commented, not looking up from the computer used for orders. “What’s the phone number?”

“555-420-2583.” He grinned at the raised eyebrow Karkat gave him. “I swear that’s what my phone company gave me.”

Karkat still had a dubious expression but he dutifully put the digits in. “We’ll give you a call to pick it up on the day of. Paying now or at pickup?”

“Now.”

The exchange was handled quickly, since Lance had other errands to run. Yet the door had just closed when Lance burst back in with a pale face. “What’s wrong?” Karkat demanded.

“My car! It’s been stolen!”

* * *

 

“Oh god oh god oh god oh god--”

“Lance, breathe. Jade’s got this.”

“My car was a gift from _mi abuelo_ ! He and _mi tio_ restored it for me! If I can’t get it back they’ll be so disappointed, not to mention my parents!”

Jade frowned as she watched the security feed. “Alright, I got the video up and starting just when you drove up. Oooh, that’s a _nice_ car. ‘69 Camaro?”

Lance grinned a bit through his panic. “Yeah, _abuelo_ had a guy sell him the car cheap because it needed so much work. He and _tio_ Coran love that kind of thing!”

“Aha! Got something!” The three watched as someone in a hoodie with the hood pulled up expertly broke into the car with lockpicking tools, hotwired the car, and then drove away. Jade clicked her tongue, eyebrows furrowed and eyes blazing. “Damn! I am _so_ sorry this happened, Lance. We’ll call the police and file a report, and we’ll get you a refund on the bouquet you just ordered.”

Lance’s jaw dropped. “That was expensive as hell! It’s not your fault!”

“She’s Scrooge McDuck rich as fuck,” Karkat said drily. “She can afford it.”

Jade stuck her tongue out at him briefly before turning back to Lance. “Think of it as my apology. It happened on my property, I feel responsible for it!”

“Oh, well, thanks--but it isn’t your fault! Just shitty bad luck, really,” Lance reassured her, running a hand through his hair. “I think my friends added GPS or something like that to my car actually.” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Guess we should call the cops now?”

* * *

 

“Aw, shit, that must’ve been awful.”

“ _Yeah, but turns out Lance has a friend on the force who can help. And he mentioned something about a pigeon?”_

“Huh. Probably a nickname. Ugh, I hate waiting in airports. Dirk’s flight is delayed by another 20 minutes, what the fuck is that plane doing?”

_“It’s raining, Dave, it’s probably causing issues with turbulence and shit.”_

“True. Oh fuck, I think I see Jade! I’m gonna go say hi. Talk to you later, crabcakes!”

_“Wait, what?!”_

Dave hung up snickering. He loved coming up with weird and ridiculous nicknames to rile his boyfriend up. His eyes would go all sparky with annoyance and his fluffy hair would make him look like an angry cat with all his bristling. Ahhh he was so lucky~

“Dave, hi!”

“Hey, Jade.” He braced himself for the back-breaking hug that she always gave him, even picking him up with ease. He groaned a bit but hugged her back. “What’re you doing here?”

“Picking up Jake! He’s coming home for a while, his flight’s landing in 20 minutes!”

“No shit? Fuck, so’s Dirk’s! They gotta be on the same flight then, who woulda thought? Hey, you wanna grab something while we wait?”

“Oooh, mister millionaire treating poor small-business-owner me?” she teased, looping her arm around his.

“I’m being chivalrous, miss I have twenty science patents,” he snarked back. They quickly bought sugary drinks and pastries from Starbucks and sat at the gate exit, catching up. Jade was pleased with her newest rose hybrids, acquired from famous Japanese landscaper Shuichi Minamino. She was still upset however with the carjacking that had occurred earlier in the week, but Officer Shirogane reassured her that they would be able to recover the car. Something to do with pigeons?

TT: We just landed.

Dave checked his phone and grinned. “Dirk just landed. Hey, you should’ve brought flowers for your brother!” He didn’t mind the punch to his arm, even if it would leave a bruise.

Neither of them expected to see their brothers walk out of the gate holding hands and laughing. They stopped in front of their siblings in surprise, although Jake burst into a bright grin and let go of Dirk’s hand in order to scoop Jade up in a tight hug. Dave just raised an eyebrow toward his brother with a smirk. Dirk flushed hotly. “Don’t you say fucking anything.”

“Wait until Roxy hears~”

“You shut your goddamn mouth you brat. We just hit it off on the plane and since Jake’s sticking around indefinitely, we’re going to…” He shrugged with a small smile. “Give it a whirl.”

Dave’s shades dropped down his nose as his eyes widened. “Damn, already picking up on his words? How good was his dick?”

“Going by how hard he bit my shoulder, pretty damn good!” Jake called over with a laugh. Dirk flushed bright enough that his entire face and ears were red, Jade smacked Jake’s shoulder, and Dave choked on his drink.

...Only his brother would get a boyfriend _and_ laid on a flight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooooo~! It's taken me some time to finish this one--I almost lost the entire chapter when I was typing it up and then the pesterlog formatting was a bitch and a half. But here we are! Finally updated, and do enjoy the first cameo from another series. There are going to be more stories in this AU, but with different ships and other flower meanings for each ship. Do keep an eye out for them! I'm working on several now~
> 
> Also fantastic news! I have a new job, full time with benefits, so I am definitely breathing a little easier. My sister is healing up wonderfully from her surgery, and just, everything is starting to go really well for me! Now all I need to do is wait on whether or not my Voltron panel for a convention is accepted, and you just may see me as Princess Allura hosting a summit meeting on planet Earth! Have a lovely day my dear readers!


	10. Melianthus, Allspice, Rosebay Rhododendron

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read this chapter, go to http://www.languageofflowers.com/index.htm and look up the flowers in the chapter title! You won't regret it!

“ _Am I brave enough, am I strong enough, to follow the desire that burns from within? To push away my fear, to stand where I’m afraid, I am through with this, ‘cause I am more than this--I--promise to myself--a-lone and no one else, my flame is rising higher….I am the--_ ”

“ _My anaconda don’t! My anaconda don’t! My anaconda--_ ”

“Fucking hell!” Karkat almost fell off his bed from the shock of interruption. Growling to himself he checked his phone. Of _course_. Why should he have expected anything different? “I swear, you’re a goddamn ass man,” he growled over the line.

“ _Awwww, come on Karkat, you have the finest damn ass I have ever been blessed to see. And you left your phone unlocked, did you really expect me to_ not _add a fun ringtone?_ ”

Karkat sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, even though he felt his lips fighting to curve upwards. “I thought John was the prankster of our friends.”

A low chuckle hit his ears. “ _Nah, the Strilondes can enjoy a good prank too. Roxy can be evil with hers! How’s everything, honeysuckle?_ ”

“Crabcakes wasn’t a good enough nickname?”

“ _As crabby as you can be, fish puns didn’t seem right. You do a lot of flower shit though so I’m gonna bestow upon you a garden of nicknames._ ”

“You fucking nerd oh my god,” laughed Karkat, running a hand over his face. “What’s up?”

“ _Aradia messaged me saying that she was coming home next week, so I wanna throw her a welcome home party. Gonna need your help in decorating my place. I’ll throw in some kisses to sweeten the deal~_ ”

“Hmm, tempting, very tempting, Strider. But I think I’m going to need a little more incentive.”

“ _I’ll have booze?_ ”

Karkat snorted a bit. “I’m good. Try again.”

“ _How about you stay the night afterwards and I make breakfast again?_ ”

“Sure, but I’ll cook this time. One plate full of dick pancakes is enough.”

“ _Hahaha, alright alright. Oh--crap, I got a call on the other line. Talk to you later?_ ”

“Of course. Night, Dave.”

“ _Night, rosey-posey~_ ”

“NO.” Karkat hung up on Dave’s laughter and shook his head, falling back on his bed. It was one of those rare nights that he was home alone--his parents were at some kind of reception for Siglas’ teaching job at the nearby college, and Nepeta was spending the night at Equius’. Meulin and Kankri had moved out a few years ago as well.

The silence was eerie.

He sighed and sat up again, pulling his headphones back on and beginning the song from earlier over. For the most part he had the songs memorized, but the key was listening to instrumentals and knowing when to come in on which beats and such. There had been some worry about whether or not they would be able to mesh together with just a week of practice after Aradia returned, but apparently she had brought her guitar with her on the dig. Even if she couldn’t play it with a speaker, she could practice the fingerings and such.

Pouncellor jumped onto his lap with a needy meow, and he smiled softly as he started to stroke the cat. Even if he could be a needy whiny brat of a cat, the former stray was pretty nice to have on lonely nights. Again, the notes flowed over him and he quietly sang along. Until a sudden cramping feeling made him stop.

“Oh _fuck_.”

Yep. He wasn’t going into work the next day. Thank god Jade was so understanding.

* * *

 

\- sharpshootingWinja [SW] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -

SW: hey there! this is Karkat right?  
CG: UH, YEAH? WHO’S THIS?  
SW: it’s Lance! the guy whose car was stolen  
CG: OH SHIT, HEY THERE. HOW’D YOU GET MY HANDLE?  
SW: Jade  
CG: OF COURSE.  
SW: I wanted to let you know that I got my car back! my baby’s home again! :D  
CG: THAT’S GREAT! DID THE POLICE FIND IT?  
SW: kinda sorta. my friend’s a police officer so he helped out but technically it was another friend Pidge who did GPS tracking.  
CG: SO YOU WEREN’T TALKING ABOUT A REAL PIGEON?  
SW: LOL no  
SW: she got her nickname ages ago from her older brother  
SW: she’s like some kind of superhacker who works for the government while in college  
SW: I think  
SW: she’s never really went into detail saying things like it’s classified but I swear I saw her hacking into foreign government files once  
CG: ALRIGHT, GOOD TO KNOW YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO COVER YOU IF YOU EVER HAVE TO FLEE THE COUNTRY.  
SW: right? I mean with my friends you never know  
SW: but yeah we found my car! turns out my ex gf and her friend hijacked it and were planning on selling it for scraps or something like that  
SW: we stole it back and Pidge cleared their security cameras in a fake glitch loop so that they have no way of finding out who took it and it looks like the cameras screwed up  
SW: we also may have wrecked some shit of theirs to make it look like vandals who saw an opportunity  
CG: SHIT, THAT’S PRETTY HARDCORE.  
CG: I’M IMPRESSED.  
SW: thanks! I really didn’t do too much except drive and wreck shit though. Pidge and Hunk--my roommate and best friend since third grade--were the ones who did all the technical stuff, and Keith--rivalfriend--and Shiro--Officer Shirogane--were lookouts. And Allura and Matt--Shiro’s datemates--joined in for fun  
CG: IF THAT’S THEIR IDEA OF FUN I’M AFRAID OF WHAT ISN’T FUN FOR THEM.  
SW: THANK YOU my thoughts exactly! look, Matt and Allura and Shiro seem like perfect upstanding citizens but they’re thrillseeking nerds  
SW: I think Allura’s trying to convince them to try having sex while bungee jumping  
CG: WHAT.  
SW: don’t ask me I’m not that crazy  
CG: THAT JUST SOUNDS DANGEROUS.  
SW: I’m waiting for them to be arrested by Shiro’s commanding officer for organizing an orgy in the station or something like that at this rate  
CG: OKAY, REALLY NOT IN THE MOOD FOR SEX TALK RIGHT NOW, AS HILARIOUS AS THIS IS.  
SW: you ok man?  
CG: EH, JUST NOT FEELING THAT GOOD. I’M USED TO IT.  
SW: chronic pain? D:  
CG: HAHA, SORT OF. IT’LL PASS, JUST WISH THE RICE PACK WOULD LAST LONGER FOR CRAMPS.  
SW: ooooh ok! where are the cramps? I got a ton of old wife remedies from family  
CG: LOWER STOMACH.  
SW: actual stomach cramps or menstrual cramps?  
CG: COME AGAIN?  
SW: it’s important to know which it is so that I can check which teas will be best! but peppermint is the best for nausea no matter what  
CG: I KNOW THAT, MY SISTER IS A HUGE TEA FANATIC. I WAS SURPRISED YOU ASKED ABOUT MENSTRUAL CRAMPING.  
SW: you never know if someone is trans or nonbinary or anything like that  
SW: I mean I’m bi so I’m always making sure not to make assumptions on gender or sexuality  
SW: man the number of people who thought I was a gross fuckboi just bc I like to flirt for fun!  
CG: OH.  
CG: YOU’RE A REALLY NICE GUY, LANCE.  
CG: THANKS, BUT I ACTUALLY HAVE TEA FOR MENSTRUAL CRAMPS.  
SW: ok cool  
SW: if ya ever need anything just pester me ok? :3  
SW: I like you and after all the help you and Jade gave with my car I wanna be friends!  
CG: WELL, I’LL ADMIT THAT YOU’RE NOT AS BAD AS I THOUGHT YOU WERE AFTER THAT TERRIBLE PICK UP LINE.  
SW: that was a *quality* picking up line  
CG: SURE IT WAS.  
CG: BUT ALRIGHT.  
SW: sweet!  
SW: hey are you in college by any chance?  
CG: I ACTUALLY GRADUATED WITH MY BACHELOR’S THIS YEAR IN FILM STUDIES. YOU SAID SOMETHING ABOUT FASHION LAST WEEK?  
SW: yep! sophomore at samwell uni, fashion major, also leader of some clubs!  
SW: and I’m in a band  
CG: OH?  
SW: yep, vocals and guitarist! my friends and I are even trying out in this battle of the bands thing, so wish us luck!  
CG: YOU’RE GOING TO BE GOING AGAINST MY FRIENDS TOO THEN. BLAME JOHN FOR THE NAME, IT’S NATIONAL TREASURE.  
SW: Nic Cage fan?  
CG: DEAR GOD HE’S OBSESSED.  
CG: IF IT WAS ANYONE ELSE I’D THINK HE HAD A CRUSH ON HIM.  
SW: lol  
SW: well may the best band win! :D  
CG: WHAT’S YOUR BAND NAME?  
SW: Voltron!

* * *

 

“Sollux! Feferi!”

“Aradia!”

“AA!”

The two managed to catch the little spitfire of an archaeologist when she launched herself at them for tight hugs. She gave them both affectionate kisses (Sollux first) and a squeeze. “Oh, it’s so good to be back! Real seasons again!”

Feferi’s laugh bubbled over. “And the holidays are coming up too! Are you going to be staying long?”

“Yep! I’m off of the dig for a while, we have several artifacts we need to clean up and study so I’m going to be working at the museum for the time being.” Aradia bounced back so that she could grab her carry-on bag. “Is Equius with you guys?”

“Sadly, no, he got called into work. One of the riding teachers got sick so he’s covering,” Feferi explained with a pout that Aradia matched. “But!” Her deep brown eyes sparkled again as she grinned. “He said he’d come over tonight afterwards!”

“Oh good! Since it’s my return home, does this mean I get to be treated like a princess tonight?” Aradia teased with a mischievous look.

Sollux snorted a bit while they walked to baggage claim. “We all know the real princess is FF.”

“Not anymore! You know I don’t like being called such!”

“How about treasure of our hearts~?” Aradia asked. Even though Feferi’s skin made it hard to tell when she was embarrassed, the little wiggle of her nose and quick cough was enough to confirm. Aradia giggled and leaned up to sneak her a kiss. “It’s good to be home! I missed you so much!”

“We missed you too, AA,” Sollux replied with a warm smile. While the three of them waited for Aradia’s baggage she happily filled them in on all the interesting artifacts she had found, and the graves that they had been able to preserve. Her luggage was easy to find--it was the only one covered in bone stickers with city names on them.

Soon enough the conversation turned toward their attempt at making a band. “So, when are we going to get together to practice?” Aradia asked as she hopped in the back seat.

Sollux checked his phone briefly. “We were thinking this Thursday, it’s the only day everyone has off--JD said that the store’s doing a full system update so she’s closing it down for the day. And then Saturday is your welcome home party at Dave’s place.”

“I can’t wait to see everyone again! It’s been months, so this is going to be something of a vacation for me. And I’ll admit, one of the best things is absolutely the plumbing. I love indoor plumbing.”

The car jerked to a stop because of an errant driver sliding in front of them when they were trying to merge lanes. Feferi, the driver, growled. “Did you miss Boston driving too?”

“Eh, at least once we get to Samwell it’s going to be calmer.” Aradia leaned back in her chair with a small chuckle. “Isn’t it funny how we all just ended up living in the same general area and right near Samwell Uni?”

“I’m glad I was able to start there!” Feferi chirped. “I know Mom was all about me going right to Harvard, but it was _so_ much better to go to Samwell first--especially since you two and Equius were there as well!”

Sollux chuckled a bit, holding onto the handle easily as Feferi expertly weaved out of one lane and into the next. “It’s a good place. Plus Uncle SG could give us the lowdown on which teachers to avoid and shit.”

“He was one of the _best_ teachers too. Thinking of taking another of his courses for fun myself, actually.”

“I wish I could, but with the law and poli-sci courses that’s enough on my plate! I’m just so glad Cambridge isn’t too far from Boston. No way I was going to miss picking up my gillfrond!”

“Feferiiiii, you’re making me blush!” Aradia clapped her hands to her cheeks, laughing. “You’re lucky you’re so cute!”

“And she’s driving,” Sollux added drily.

“That too!”

Once they were finally able to get onto I-93 the conversation bounced between topics, from Feferi’s classes to Sollux’s plan on quitting in a spectacular fireworks show (not entirely sure how figurative the fireworks would be) to, eventually, friend-related gossip. “VK and JH are _still_ together and being disgusting,” Sollux griped.

Aradia snickered a bit. “They work, somehow, even with their up and downs and occasional breakups. But they’re boring old news! I wanna know about Karkat and Dave!” Her eyes were sparkling as she leaned forward eagerly. “How long have they been dating now?”

“I think it’s going to be two months this Saturday actually,” Sollux explained. “I’ll let them tell you how they started though, it’s pretty fucking hilarious,” he added with a low chuckle. His eyes--one amber and one blue--looked over his glasses as he turned to look at Aradia. “And let me tell you, they’re so fucking head over heels together it’s almost _worse_ than VK and JH.”

“No!”

“JD said she caught KK pruning and going he likes me he likes me not.”

“ _That’s so gay_.” Feferi’s sudden whisper made the other two burst into delighted laughter. “Ahhh I’m going to be teasing Karkrab so much this weekend! He’s going to hate me but worth it!”

“If he says he hates you I’ll beat him up, FF. And you know EQ would do the same if anyone hurt you.”

“Oh pft, it’s fine! Karkat has only ever truly hated a few people.” The memory of one former friend made them all go quiet for a few moments, before Feferi quickly brought them back to the present. “Anyway! Did you hear about Kanaya too? She’s got a gillfrond!”

“Ooh, I’ll have to congratulate her! Do we know her?”

“Dave’s sister, Rose.”

“ _No._ ”

“Yes!”

“I swear everyone’s queer as hell,” Sollux commented. “I think the only straight person is technically JH? I think?”

“He’s only really been interested in Vriska, so maybe he’s more demi?” Aradia pointed out thoughtfully. “But does it matter so long as he’s happy? Besides, I’m so glad Kanaya finally has a girlfriend! With all of her focus on fashion and studies she never took time to take care of herself when it came to dating.”

“Now if only NP and TZ would figure it out…”

“They _still_ haven’t? I thought Karkat would’ve locked them in a closet by now.”

“NP won’t let him meddle, apparently. He’s still annoyed, he loves those romantic comedy shenanigans.”

“Booo, she needs to let him, otherwise those two are gonna be dancing around each other for years and then die alone and forlorn.”

“Aradia, have you been reading emo poetry again?”

“Edgar Allen Poe is _not_ emo, thank you very much!”

Feferi soon enough pulled into the parking lot of Sollux’s apartment complex, easily taking the heaviest luggage to the front door. Sollux was left to grab the carry-on and a third bag, while Aradia cradled her guitar. It was one of the few things she insisted on taking to every expedition, because life was nothing without music. Since they all had keys to his apartment Feferi opened the door. “We’re home~!”

“Are you telling Sollux’s plushes--” Aradia gasped in delight and, after putting the guitar down, rushed to jump in her other partner’s arms. “Equius! They said you weren’t coming until late!”

“I was here preparing your welcome-home dinner,” the much taller man replied with a chuckle, hugging her back tightly yet carefully. He gently put her back down with a warm smile. “How was your flight?”

“Not bad, really. Food was decent, but it can’t compare to home cooking.” She inhaled deeply and beamed. “Is that lasagna I smell?”

“And a few other things.” Equius kissed her forehead before accepting the hug and kiss from Feferi. “Yes, yes, hello to you too.”

“Oh, you’re more enthusiastic to see Aradia and not me? I’m hurt!” Feferi pretended to swoon into Equius’ arms. Her long-suffering boyfriend simply caught her with a sigh, attempting and failing to hide his smile. She laughed after a moment and bounced back onto her feet, grabbing the bags with Aradia. “We’re going to start unpacking, let us know when dinner’s ready!”

“I have some great souvenirs for you guys too!”

The two men were left alone for a few seconds before they looked at each other. Sollux smirked. “Beer and making out?”

Equius returned it. “I suppose I could be persuaded.”

* * *

 

“Jesus fucking _Christ_ , did you buy out the Halloween store or something?”

“Dude, if you’ve known Aradia for any amount of time, you would know that Halloween is her favorite time of the year.”

“Yeah but, is that a Zero the dog prop?”

“Press the nose! It barks!”

Karkat pressed the nose, and the little animatronic did in fact start barking. He laughed and set it up at the door for guests to admire. “Very cute.”

“Not as cute as you~” Dave grabbed Karkat’s hands and pulled him close to kiss him. While the brunet would normally have protested at the sudden burst of affection, since it was just the two of them he allowed himself to return it. There was a feeling of pure bliss that rushed through both of them as they returned to the kiss over and over.

They only stopped when Karkat breathlessly pulled away with a slight chuckle. “I know it’s been a week since we’ve seen each other, did you miss me that badly?”

Dave pouted and gave Karkat an obnoxiously wet kiss on the cheek. He gave him a cheeky grin at the disgusted groan. “Duh.” He took a moment to look around the terrifyingly decorated apartment. “I think we’re good.”

“It’s a good thing you asked me to come over early, otherwise we would never have gotten this finished beforehand.” He glanced at the clock. “And early too.”

Dave hummed a bit before pulling away, closing the curtains and dimming the lights so that the main lights were the red and orange fairy lights strewn about, along with a few candles and the electric fireplace lit. “That’s better.”

“Mm, not quite.” At Dave’s inquisitive look Karkat walked over and carefully pulled his sunglasses off. “Now it’s actually perfect.”

A quiet whine slipped out and Dave moved close enough to hide his face in Karkat’s shoulder. “I’m the cool kid, I’m supposed to be the smooth one putting the moves on you,” he pouted. His unrelenting boyfriend only laughed and gave him a hug. He sighed in exaggerated defeat. “You’re lucky you’re so cute, you know that?”

“I’m adorabloodthirsty, there’s a big difference.”

Dave made a little _snrk_ sound and, feeling bold, gave Karkat a kiss where his jaw met his neck. At the sudden shiver he smirked and left another, and another, along his jawline until suddenly pulling away before kissing his lips. “I gotta check the stove!”

Karkat gaped at his back before chasing him into the kitchen. “You _ass_ , you don’t just do that to a guy!”

“I can and I did.” Dave smirked over his shoulder, snatching the other in his arms. “Come on, like _you’re_ not a damn tease?”

There was nothing in the stove or on it to check in the first place. Bastard. “You deserved that and you know it.”

“I did _not_ deserve being forced to watch you lick that ice cream cone like that!”

Dave looked so scandalized that Karkat couldn’t stop laughing. He let his arms loop around the other’s neck with a sly smirk. “If that’s the case, then what’re you going to do about it?”

Oh-- _oh._ The implications were such that it set Dave’s cheeks ablaze, and he could feel the same heat crawling up his neck. Still, he managed to return the smirk with one of his own as his hands settled on the other’s hips. “I mean, we do still have a little less than an hour. I think that’s enough time to show you just what I’m going to do~” He knew that Karkat was allowing him to push him back towards the couch, but he was much too busy kissing him to really focus.

To his surprise he found himself landing on his ass on black leather, bouncing just a bit even as Karkat followed. A delightfully pleasant weight straddled his hips and he eagerly pulled him back down, nipping at the other’s lip. He responded with a soft groan that sent the best tingles down Dave’s back and to his toes.

Okay, maybe he wasn’t the one to show what he was going to do about Karkat being a tease. He was fine with letting Karkat take the lead though. His fingers ran through thick dark black-brown hair that was _much_ softer than it looked. Karkat was just a little broader than Dave--he had never been able to keep weight on, years of malnutrition and a fast metabolism did that to a guy. Having him secure in his lap, holding him close as they barely separated for air, he was in fucking heaven--no, never mind, now he was, that was definitely a tongue in his mouth and that cinnamon shampoo Karkat used was intoxicating, he was fucking drowning in it, completely lost, put it on his gravestone that he was dead from make out session with the hottest boy in the world. The moan drawn from him was so sensual that he felt the hitch in Karkat’s chest.

The brunet slowly pulled away to look at him through thick lashes. Dave’s eyes were hazy and half closed with pleasure, his lips were starting to redden, and he could definitely start feeling something stirring underneath him. His heart squeezed in delicious pain. “You're beautiful…”

Dave flushed at the sudden compliment and shook his head a bit, cupping Karkat’s cheek. “You clearly don't look in the mirror often enough,” he murmured. Before he could respond he was pulled into an even deeper kiss than before, and _oh_ that was it. The perfect fit of their lips. Suddenly it was Karkat whose senses were overwhelmed, with apple in his nose and silky blond strands and a firm hand cupping his jaw so gently he might have been glass. There was another pang in his chest when he realized just how hard he had fallen for the dorky cool kid who was doing some--

Okay, _that_ was distracting, what was he saying again? The hand on his ass gave another appreciative squeeze and he groaned low in his throat, pressing himself fully against the other beneath him.

“Should I come back later? And would you like me to put a sock on the doorknob for you?”

Karkat and Dave both jerked apart from the kiss, seeing Rose stand there with a wide shit-eating grin. Next to her Kanaya was hiding her laughter behind a hand. She failed when Dave and Karkat turned near-identical shades of red. “I-I’m so sorry, Rose insisted on seeing if you needed help setting up,” she explained. Her grin was equally shit-eating. “Would you like us to come back when it’s closer to time?”

“A little fucking hard to do that, since the mood’s pretty much ruined,” Karkat snapped. He didn’t notice Dave turn even redder as he pulled away, nor did he see Dave scramble for a couch pillow after he stood up. “You really couldn’t have waited?”

Rose simply gestured toward the grandfather clock. “There’s only ten minutes before everyone else starts arriving.”

“...Oh.” Karkat awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck before looking at Dave, who was still sitting there with the pillow in his lap. “...why the hell do you have that pillow?”

“No reason just gotta go do something gonna put this elsewhere brb!” The blond dashed out of the room, pillow in hand.

Once he was out of earshot Rose _cackled_. “Oh, that was beautiful. I do so love torturing my favorite twin.”

Kanaya shook her head in adoring exasperation and looked towards Karkat. “I’m so glad that you’re so happy. But, does he know yet?”

The sudden question made Karkat frown, and he looked down at his socks--red and gray striped, appropriate for the decor. “Not yet. I’m going to tell him soon, I just...I’m afraid of ruining what we have.”

Rose’s demeanor changed from sadistic glee to concern. “Is everything alright, Karkat?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing bad. Just, um…” Karkat bit his lip and took a breath. “I’m trans.”

To his surprise Rose only blinked. “...Oh, wait, that’s what has you so concerned, right?” Behind her Kanaya rolled her eyes. “If that’s all, then you won’t have to worry. He won’t care about what’s in your pants or what isn’t, he will only want to make sure that he hasn’t upset you in any way. He’s really quite considerate about that. I suppose that’s one of his good qualities,” she sighed.

A weight seemed to drop off his shoulders and he gave her a relieved smile. “Thanks, Rose. Uh, I’m going to go check on him real quick.”

Kanaya waited until Karkat was out of earshot before looking towards her girlfriend. “You did a great job reassuring him. Thank you.”

Rose smiled and took her hand, kissing it gently. “He makes Davie happy. Happier than I have ever seen him. That’s all I can ask for.”

Kanaya batted her lashes in a coquettish manner. “Do I make you happy?”

“I’m wearing your Underwater Mysteries dress. I would have thought that was enough proof.”

“Perhaps I need another reminder.” She giggled as Rose gladly kissed her.

Down the hallway Karkat knocked on the bathroom door. “Dave? You ok?”

“Yeah, hang on--” He could hear the sink running for a moment and then Dave opened the door, droplets still clinging to bits of his hair and along the edge of his jaw. “Just had to calm down a moment.” He couldn’t help but glance ever so quickly at the other’s pants. “How’d you calm down so fast?”

The brunet swallowed thickly. “It’s, uh, there’s...there’s nothing really to calm down?”

Dave tilted his head to the side. “What, you mean that didn’t get you all hot and bothered?” Suddenly he grinned. “Does that mean we have to do it again ‘cuz I’d be down for that.”

“Nono, not what I mean--I mean, yeah, definitely have to do it again, but not right now--I mean…” Kakat breathed in deeply and let it out slowly. “I don’t actually have anything to calm down, because I don’t technically have a dick.”

“You don’t?”

“No, Dave. I’m...I’m trans.”

There was a moment as Dave processed the new information. Then he nodded. “Gotcha. So when we decide to start banging, we make sure to talk about the do’s and don’ts. Can I still grope your ass though? Oof!” He caught the sudden bundle of giddy laughing Vantas, finding himself smiling. “Aw, babe, were you worried I wouldn’t like you if you were trans?”

“Maybe a little,” he mumbled, hiding his face in the other’s neck.

“Oh, Karkat…” Dave hugged him tighter and kissed the side of his head. “Trust me, you’re stuck with me for hopefully forever. I mean, I’d like it to be forever, I know you never know what the future holds but I like to think that we got a good thing going, especially since we’ve already been dating for two months now so--” He was thankfully silenced by a kiss slightly marred by quiet chuckles.

After a sweet interval Karkat pulled away slowly. “Thank you, Dave.”

“You're welcome. Hey, do you have a binder or did you already get top surgery ‘cuz if you’re wearing a binder you're going to have to take it off if you've been wearing it all day, don't want your ribs breaking I like you whole.”

Karkat laughed again, leaning his forehead against Dave’s. “I had top surgery when I turned 18. You don't have to worry about anything.”

“Babe, you're my boyfriend. Of course I'm going to worry.”

_“Who’s ready to party meowtherfuckers!?”_

Karkat and Dave both burst into giggles at the high soprano of Nepeta. “We should get out there,” Dave muttered. Neither of them moved though. Their eyes were far more interesting than whatever party shenanigans were going to happen.

Suddenly Karkat pulled away enough that there was a little space between them, but there certainly wasn’t enough room for Jesus still. “We gotta stop stalling before Nepeta catches us and starts squealing, I have to put up with it enough at home.”

“Alright, babe. Hey, so can I make trans puns or would that be bad?”

“Depends on just how awful the pun itself is.”

More and more people trickled into the apartment, most people that Karkat knew and a few whom he didn’t. They were all here for Aradia though, and when she came last (as Sollux had insisted she do as guest of honor) they all shouted her a welcome home.

Aradia hid her mouth behind her hand, eyes crinkling upward as they watered. “Oh, it’s so good to be home! Thank you, everyone! But the biggest thank you to Dave, for organizing everything!” She gave him a kiss on the cheek, just enough to leave a bright dark red lipstick mark.

Dave simply grinned. “Anything for my favorite archaeologist!”

“And I have something for you!”

“Oh shit, really?” He took the little bag from her and looked in it. “No fucking way!”

“I remembered your last one broke!”

“This is sick! Thanks Aradia! Karkat, Karkat, help me put this on!”

Karkat accepted the chain with a raised eyebrow. “A skull?”

“Skulls are the best!”

“Exactly, Jake!” Dave looked back to Karkat. “It’s a crow skull. When I was a kid I used to find dead birds and preserve them in jars. It wasn’t until I moved in with Mom and everyone that I decided to try going into archaeology.”

Karkat shook his head with a smile as he helped hook the pendant around Dave’s neck. The cleaned skull gleamed in the low light from the protective clear coating on it. “Morbid, but you’re cute so you can get away with it.”

Aradia’s eyes glittered eagerly. “Okay, I’m home, so I need all the details! How did you two get together?” Most of the other party goers cheered for the story.

Dave groaned a bit. “I’m getting a drink. It’s almost embarrassing now.”

Karkat smirked, “What, the fuck you bouquets are a hit now thanks to you.”

“A what?”

“Okay, so you can thank John there--”

“Hello!”

“--because he pranked Dave while he was away. So Dave comes storming in pissed off like he was about to sic a murder of crows on someone, slaps a twenty on the counter and demands for flowers that mean fuck you.”

Tavros blinked a bit, scratching his cheek. “So, uhh...John is the reason why you two got together?”

“Nono, he was the damn catalyst though,” Dave said, coming back with a hard cider. “If it hadn’t been for that I think Jade was gonna set us up on a blind date though.”

Jade beamed unrepentantly from her spot on the couch. “You know I would have!”

“Anyway, so I get his order set up, and he gives me his card for the club which has his pesterchum handle on it too. I decided to message him just to see, and, well, here we are.”

“Being fucking gay as hell,” Dave added as he decided that Karkat’s lap would be the most comfortable. The little _oof_ of surprise when he plopped made him grin. “But you know, I’m not the only one who’s got someone. Funniest shit was when Jade and I went to pick up our brothers from the airport.”

The two in question suddenly looked very awkward. Dirk coughed and Jake stammered, “I don’t know if she’d wanna know that, it’s really not that interesting! We just talked on the plane!”

Aradia’s attention zeroed in on him and she gave him a delighted dangerous grin. “Come on, Jake, tell!”

“If he won’t I will!” Jade declared over her brother’s strident objections. Dirk had a look on his face that he was just waiting for decapitation as the situation continued to go pear shaped. “So Jake’s been talking to someone a lot online to try and make a company--the family money won’t last forever so he wants to make some big famous company but I think he just wants his ass to be famous.”

“It’s a very nice ass,” Dirk muttered. He grinned at the elbow to his side as Jake sputtered and turned red.

Jade ignored the exchange and continued. “So he’s telling me all about this guy he’s infatuated with, how he’s one of the smartest guys he knows but also does a lot more than just robotics and is really philosophical and thoughtful, and he thinks he’s interested but isn’t sure and you know, being dramatic. And then he comes home from a trip to the Mayan temples and who do we see him holding hands with coming off the plane but Dirk!”

Dave laughed and nodded, “Turns out it was Dirk he was talking to online all this time! So at least I don’t have to hear him mooning over this really hot guy that he spends literally hours talking to all the time. Oh, and they totally fucked on the plane.”

Everyone burst into laughter even as Dirk squawked and Jake hid his face in his hands. Roxy triumphantly crowed, “I knew it! No wonder you’ve been so chill, the stick in your ass was replaced by his dick!”

“Roxanne Phryne Lalonde, I am going to kill you!”

“Nooo, Janey, Callie, save me!”

Aradia was laughing so hard she had to wipe tears from her eyes. “Oh gods, that’s even better than the fuck you bouquet! Oh hey, Nico, you should send those flowers to Percy sometime!”

The black-haired young man in an aviator jacket in the corner watching everyone snickered. “Maybe next time he pisses me off. But Annabeth’s been keeping him in line, so he’s safe for now.”

At that point everyone started drifting into smaller groups, Aradia bouncing from place to place as she tried to catch up with her friends. Being a polyglot, she was switching between so many languages that it could make a single-language speaker’s head spin. At one point she was speaking a mixture of Italian and Spanish with Nico and Tavros easily responding in kind.

Someone (Dirk) changed the music about an hour in, the harsh guitars suddenly cutting off and the brassy overtones of swing jazz rang out. Aradia squealed in glee and ran to Sollux. “Come on, let’s dance!”

“Wait, AA--oh fuck, fine.”

Terezi grabbed Nepeta and pulled her onto the makeshift dance floor that Dave had set up with a cackle. “Come on kitten, boogie with me!”

Karkat was content to watch from the couch along the wall, sipping a drink and feeling a pleasant buzz. He had no plans on driving since Dave had told him in no uncertain terms that if he didn’t stay the night he would be utterly destroyed. But he also didn’t want to get _too_ drunk. He noticed that Roxy was sticking to Sprite or something like that while chatting with Callie, and that the Italian guy, Nico, had also been dragged onto the dance floor by a sunny-smiling blond. He couldn’t help but wonder as he looked around the room, how in the hell did Aradia even meet so many people? There were definitely a few more people he didn’t recognize around the room.

“Heeeeey, buttercup~” Dave draped his arms around Karkat’s shoulders, leaning over the armrest. “You havin’ fun?”

Karkat leaned against his boyfriend with a chuckle. “Yeah, just people watching. You?”

“Lots, but missin’ ya,” he drawled, Texas twang starting to grow more pronounced after two hard ciders and an appletini. “I noticed y’were all alone and figured, I should fix that. Wanna dance?”

“Hmm…” Karkat made the mistake of turning to look at Dave and was struck by the sparkling red eyes staring him down. There was the faintest flush across his cheeks and he had a near-blinding smile. Karkat’s heart flipped at least four times and there were definitely butterflies in his stomach again. “S-sure.”

“Yes!” Dave took Karkat’s drink and put it on the little side table, grabbing his hands and pulling him over. To his surprise and pleasure, the blond took the lead in the dancing. “You ever dance?”

“Kinda, with Nepeta since it was for Mom and Dad’s wedding.” He yelped a bit when he was spun out and then back. “Whoa, shit, when did you learn to dance?”

“Mom signed us all up for dance lessons as a family bonding thing, it was fun!” he laughed, expertly guiding Karkat through a few basic steps. “And then in college Aradia and I were in the swing dancing club together! It’s all about timing and keeping the beat with your steps!” He suddenly spun them both together and dipped Karkat, who let out a startled laugh. “Whatcha think, buttercup?”

“I think you’re tipsy,” he exclaimed. The grin on his face and the light in his eyes made Dave’s breath catch in his throat even as he pulled him back up on his two feet. “But we should go dancing in the future! This is actually fun!” A bell rang through the trumpets of jazz and Karkat tilted his head to the side. “Was that the doorbell?”

“I dunno, who else could be here?”

“No idea, I’ll go check.” Karkat pulled away from Dave and went to the door, but right when he was about to open it Dave pressed himself against his back and kissed his neck. “D-Dave, stop,” he laughed, squirming a bit from the kisses.

“Nah~ you’re cute when you’re giggly.”

Karkat flushed but couldn’t hide his grin as he opened the door. “Will you shut the fuck up you goddamn dork--”

"Hey there, motherfucker. What’s all been happening?"

Karkat's mood was suddenly dropped into the Arctic Sea. Slowly, he looked from a confused Dave to the man in front of him. A knot began to make itself known in his gut and tighten. Behind him, the hubbub of chatter and laughter had slowly gone silent. "G...Gamzee."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo, here's another chapter, brought to you from my cubicle! Loving this job, I can do my fanfic writing between calls! It's going fantastic by the way, soon I'll have worked here for a month!
> 
> Now, this chapter is when we start bringing in a few more cameos, some more characters, tooth-rotting fluff, and now the drama! Oooh, I'm so excited for this. It's like the fic is writing itself now! But this most certainly isn't the end! Stick around, I have more plots and plans up my sleeves!


	11. Amaranthus, Pheasant's Eye, Red Tulips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to look up the chapter title flowers!~ They provide excellent clues as to what each chapter has in store! >:3

“What the ever living fuck are _you_ doing here?”

Dave squinted at the slouching man in front of them. There was definitely some kind of aroma around him, smelled like weed. His hair had a weird sheen and the general air around him was unkempt hobo. “How the hell did you even find my place? I don’t even know you.”

Said man in question waved it off like it was no big deal. “Nah, it’s alright. Heard the ramsis had all up and motherfuckin’ come back from digging up corpses and that shit. Figured I’d stop in and say welcome back.”

Dave straightened up, pulling away somewhat from Karkat. He still kept an arm around his waist though, he could feel how Karkat was completely stiff. His face had gone a bit pale too at seeing this strung-out asshole. “Doesn’t still answer the question.”

Gamzee’s eyes flickered from the almost possessive hold back to Dave’s face. “Went over to Tavbro’s place to chill, he wasn’t there, went to use his laptop and what do I see but his pesterchum open. Saw the info and figured, hey, ramsis is here so might as well get my motherfucking welcome home all on the wicked up.”

Tavros wheeled himself over to behind Dave and Karkat, a look of chagrin on his face. “Gamzee, look, how about we both go back? It, uh, it might not be a good idea to stay,” he added, eyes flicking back and forth from Gamzee to Karkat and back.

Gamzee just frowned, tilting his head to the side. “Aw, why the motherfuck not bro? It’s not like there’s any wicked bad blood anymore, right?”

“ _Get out._ ”

The sudden hiss startled Dave into looking at Karkat. The brunet’s fists were tight enough that his knuckles were growing paler by the second, and there was a look of such fury and hatred that it scared him for a moment. But underneath all that was definitely fear. It set the blond on edge and he looked back at Gamzee suspiciously. “Look, I don’t know who you are, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay.”

“Come on, that was fucking years ago, and I’m actually not doing too bad.”

That was enough for Karkat to snap, “You fucking _reek_ of that shitty ass skunkweed, you look like you haven’t bathed in a week, and after all you did you think you can just waltz back in like nothing _happened?!_ ”

Aradia suddenly pushed her way to the door, pushing Karkat and Dave back into the apartment. “Tavros and I’ll take care of it,” she said firmly. “Take a breather, we’ll be fine.” She closed the door behind herself and Tavros, Gamzee’s indigo stare burning into Dave’s skin before the door clicked shut.

Before Dave could do anything Nepeta was there, grabbing Karkat and pulling him out of the hallway through the side door that leads away from the main room to a cloakroom (yeah the apartment was _that_ stupidly ritzy) and most likely out the other door. It was perfect since it opened to a small guest bedroom that he kept in case anyone had to sleep any hangovers off or if the weather was too bad. The blond looked back to where the other party-goers were waiting for him, many with emotions playing across their faces ranging from concern to worry to rage. “Uh, sorry about that guys. But hey, I see Janey bringing out some of her famous grub so how about y’all get that in ya before John eats it all?”

“Hey!”

The party slowly began to restore its positive atmosphere but Dave wasn’t concerned with that. He slipped through the tiny passage leading to his kitchen and from there to where the extra rooms were. Stopping in front of the guest bedroom he knocked softly. “Karkat? You ok?”

There was a moment of hesitation (thirty-six seconds but who’s counting) before Nepeta opened the door. Her eyes were almost like green fire with how much they were blazing. “He wants you in here, but do _not_ press him. Let him tell it at his pace. If you hurt him, I hurt you.”

“Kittycat, it’s fine…”

Nepeta’s eyes softened and she looked back over her shoulder. Dave could see Karkat sitting on the bed with his hands in his hair, looking up tiredly. “You sure, shelly?”

Oh, he was _so_ going to treasure that memory of their pet names. That was fucking adorable. But that wasn’t important, the important thing was that Karkat suddenly looked so delicate and fragile that he found himself pushing past Nepeta and sitting next to him, pulling Karkat against him and stroking his hair softly. Karkat didn’t fight it, but leaned his weight against him and wrapped his arms around the other with a shaky sigh. Glancing up, Dave saw Nepeta give him an approving nod before she left them alone.

He totally owed her.

After a few moments of quiet, with music a little more mellow floating through the walls from the main room, he hummed a bit. “Should I like, start singing lullabies or shit?”

It managed to draw a weak chuckle from Karkat and he shook his head. “No, I just...I didn’t expect him to show up. Last I knew he...he was in jail. Didn’t know he got out.”

_What._

“I mean, he got in trouble again right when he got out of juvie so back in he went, except it was into the general population I guess,” Karkat rambled, not noticing how wide Dave’s eyes had gone or the way his arm had tightened around his waist. “But I mean, I’m not surprised honestly, he’s always had drug troubles so him showing up high like that, that’s pretty fucking typical, and Kurloz finally put his damn foot down and told him unless he cleaned his act up he wasn’t coming home so of course Tavros takes him in and tries to help him, he’s too goddamn fucking nice for his own good--”

“ _Karkat_ . Babe, slow down. I really don’t know what’s going on, and if it’s hurting you I _really_ hate not knowing.” Even though his cheeks turned pink Dave kept his gaze focused on how his boyfriend seemed to curl inward, seeking out his comfort. After a pause he pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head. “Talk to me? Please?”

Karkat took a slow, shaky breath, releasing it in a soft whoosh. “...Gamzee and I...we dated for a while. It was fine, for a while. It was, nice, I guess. Lot of relaxing, he was usually high on weed but it wasn’t really a big deal. And, uh...then he got into harder drugs. LSD and shit. Had to keep chasing that high,” he added with a sharp humorless laugh. “He, just, he started to change. Kept sneaking out to raves and that shit, I went with him a couple times but, way too much. He kept getting mood swings, like, he’d get so _furious_ and then switch out of it.”

He wrapped his arms around himself and clutched at the sleeves of his shirt. “A few times he threw shit at me but I was always really good at dodging, and then he’d snap out of it and promise not to do it again...but…there was a breaking point.”

_“Get away from my brother!”_

_“Nepeta, no, don’t!”_

A quick vigorous shake of his head snapped him out of ruminating too much on that memory. “He probably would have killed me and Nepeta if Equius didn’t show up and kick his ass enough to stop him. At that point the cops came, he was arrested, and that was it. Tavros still talks to him and shit--childhood friends, I don’t think he can give up on him. So, yeah. Really shitty fucking ex ended up showing up at your place. Sorry.”

“What? Karkat, it’s not your fault.” Dave tipped Karkat’s chin up so that they could have direct eye contact. “You didn’t tell him jack shit. You got out of an abusive fucking relationship, and you can trust me on knowing just what is and isn’t abuse.” Karkat’s lips twitched a bit upwards and Dave forged on. “Just tell me if that asshole comes near you again and I’ll make sure he regrets it.”

That got a laugh out of Karkat as he uncurled enough to hug Dave tightly. “You, Nepeta, Kanaya, Terezi, Jade…” He blinked at that. “Wow, only guy in my defense squad.”

“Hey, gotta be your knight in shining armor, after all.” He grinned when Karkat snorted and laughed more. “Good thing you’re staying the night too, since I can make sure that if he comes back to the complex Aaron kicks him out.”

Karkat thought back to the doorman, a mostly-silent older man who dressed solely in caution-tape yellow and black, and he was almost positive that he was always packing heat. “Yeah, I think he can handle Gamzee. First time I met him I thought my heart was gonna jump right out of my chest.”

Dave snorted a bit. “Yeah, but he’s really chill when you get to know him. Hey, you think you’re up to going back to the party?”

The brunet nodded and pulled away so that he could properly look Dave in the eye. “Yeah, don’t wanna throw a soaking wet towel on anything.”

“Nah, you’re fine. Hell, we could just stay here and if I put a sock on the door--” He got a pillow to the face. “Or not!” he laughed, throwing the pillow back at his blushing and sputtering boyfriend. “Come on, let’s see if we can get a few more dances in.”

Nobody batted an eye when the two rejoined the party, but Aradia threw herself at Karkat to hug him tightly. “Gods, I’m so sorry that happened! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Aradia, thanks. What happened?”

“Tavros took him home, he told me to tell you that he’s so sorry that Gamzee did that, and he didn’t think he’d show up at his place and that he feels awful.” Even though she was shorter than Karkat by several inches she pulled him down so that she could look him in the eye, her hands on his cheeks. “You sure you’re alright?”

Karkat smiled softly and reached up to give her hands a light squeeze. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll tell Tavros not to blame himself too, we both know he’s going to do that. He can be the biggest asshole to himself, and I thought I was bad!” They both laughed and she hugged him again, tight enough that he yelped when his back cracked.

Aradia pulled away and gave him a relieved smile. “So, back to fun times?”

“Yeah, besides, you haven’t told me about your dig yet. And who’s that guy you were talking to with Tavros earlier? Nico?”

“Oh! I need to introduce you to him and his boyfriend!”

Dave waved with a laugh as his boyfriend got unceremoniously dragged away. But first, he had someone to talk to. And where was she...aha!

Nepeta was sitting on one of the loveseats with Terezi, fiddling with the little stirring straw with her drink as Terezi kept running her fingers through the unruly mop of red hair. She looked up at Dave’s approach and raised an eyebrow. “Is he alright?”

Dave nodded and sat on the armrest next to Terezi. “Yeah, he’s better now. He told me about everything. Well, I don’t think everything, but what he could tell me.” When he took a closer look at Nepeta, he noticed a few things that he hadn’t before--the raised scars along her arms that were pale against the deep brown of her skin. “Did the fucker do that to you?”

“Huh? Oh!” She realized where he was looking and laughed a little. “No, actually, these are from the shelter I work at! Some of the animals can get _purrticularly_ riled up.” She grinned as Terezi groaned good-naturedly. “But no, he didn’t use anything sharp. Had a few broken ribs and a concussion though. Took me _months_ to convince Karkitty that it wasn’t his fault.”

“Yeah, shouty blames himself way too much for things out of his control,” Terezi chirped. “Takes us to kick his ass out of those slumps half the time!” She high fived Nepeta.

Dave gave them both a grin. “Well, thanks for that. Guess it’s my job to work on that too, huh.”

“Yes it is, Mister Strider!” Nepeta suddenly turned serious, her bright green eyes gleaming with a protective flame. “And if you hurt Karkat in any way, I will not hesitate to take you out.”

Terezi let out a low whistle. “No cat puns, she’s serious.”

Dave held up a solemn hand with the other pressed over his heart. “I’d rather let myself be skewered by two winged-dog-people with swords than hurt him.” He looked over to where Karkat was laughing at something the blond with Nico had said, while Nico looked like he was hoping the ground would swallow him up and save him from some kind of embarrassment. Without his sunglasses on, Nepeta and Terezi were able to see his expression soften to a mix of adoration and near-reverence. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt him…”

Nepeta had to press her hands over her mouth to stifle the squeal and Terezi’s grin threaten to split her face in half. “Well, well, well, cool kid~ someone’s in love~”

Dave suddenly turned bright red and he sputtered, “I-I-I dunno about that! We’ve only been together for two months!”

“I _have_ to be the wedding planner,” Nepeta demanded. “Karkat and I have an agreement that we help plan each other’s wedding so clearly I’m the best choice!”

“Does this mean I get to be best woman for you?” Terezi teased. She could smell just how red Dave’s face was growing and she laughed, leaning against Nepeta who was laughing just as hard.

Spotting an opportunity Dave shot back, “Well, what about you two? I better be the DJ for your wedding!”

Terezi’s laugh was suddenly cut off by a bout of startled coughing. “W-w-what?!”

“Come on, ‘rezi, you two lovebirds are _so_ obvious~” Clearly Dave felt relieved by directing the attention away from himself. Terezi’s cheeks were pink and Nepeta was blushing so hard it could actually be seen even with both the low lighting and her skin. “Look at you two canoodling on the loveseat, it can only get even more gay if you started kissing.”

“We’re not canoodling! We’re just chilling, and stuff! I mean, best friends can cuddle and hold hands and pet each other’s hair, right?”

“Yeah, but do best friends doodle their names in notebooks trying to decide whose last name works better?” The sudden silence and the way both women avoided looking at each other made him pause. “...Oh shit, _both_ of you?”

“I just think Nepeta Pyrope would be as cute as Terezi Leijon!” Nepeta blurted out. She refused to look at Terezi, who had turned to her with a slightly open mouth and eyes wide behind her red glasses. “But, you know, it’s just a really silly fantasy, not like anything wo--mmph!”

Dave blinked in surprise at Terezi kissing the daylights out of Nepeta. “...Okay, I’m...gonna go now…” He slinked away and ended up next to Dirk against the wall. “...I managed to accidentally get two of my friends together.”

The ginger nodded and offered a fist bump. “Nice.” Dirk, for once not wearing his sunglasses due to it being too dark in the apartment, glanced at Dave. “So, little bro, you happy?”

It was a loaded question, one that Dave was able to analyze and understand every nuance underlying it. He simply smiled and nodded, eyes drawn again to Karkat. “Happier than I’ve been in a long time.”

Dirk’s smile was all softness and tenderness. “I’m glad.”

There was a sudden crow of victory from Karkat. “I won the fucking pool!”

“Karkat did you _bet on my love life?!_ ”

* * *

Once everyone had left, the apartment was cleaned up, and leftovers packaged, Dave found himself in bed, watching the man next to him sleep. The nice thing was that Karkat didn’t snore, so that wasn’t what kept him awake. It was what Terezi had said earlier.

_“Well, well, well, cool kid~ someone’s in love~”_

Was he? They had already been on several dates, and even though they hadn’t jumped each other’s bones yet there weirdly wasn’t any sort of rush to do so. Maybe it was because of how Karkat had been nervous about coming out to him. Maybe it was because they were both hoping for something more out of their relationship. Maybe…

Maybe Terezi was right.

A soft sigh escaped Karkat and he nuzzled into his pillow more, making Dave smile. He ran his fingers through Karkat’s hair and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “I think I am in love with you...I just hope you feel the same.”

When Dave snuggled under the covers and closed his eyes he felt a warm arm encircle his waist and the gentle press of a forehead against his back. “I think I am too…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention how much down time I have at work now? I meant a *lot* of down time. It's got me continuing to work on this to keep myself from getting bored in between calls at least! I know I should be waiting a little bit more, but to be honest I'm that person who gets asked "hey you want feedback?" and I yell back "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR FEEDBACK!"
> 
> outdated meme I know lol
> 
> Anyways~! I hope y'all enjoy this chapter! This was fun to write, and I'm still going!


End file.
